


Renascence

by stereobone



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 13:07:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15663828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stereobone/pseuds/stereobone
Summary: Thor resurrects Loki. Only it's not that simple. It never is, with them.





	Renascence

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 日本語 available: [Renascence (Japanese translation)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18540379) by [Sarah_translator](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah_translator/pseuds/Sarah_translator)



_All sin was of my sinning, all_

_Atoning mine, and mine the gall_

_Of all regret. Mine was the weight_

_Of every brooded wrong, the hate_

_That stood behind each envious thrust,_

_Mine every greed, mine every lust._

      --  _ _Renascence | Edna St. Vincent Millay__

 

 

When Thor lands, there is no echo. The ground does not shake. It's as if Thor isn't really there at all, which feels odd to him. After all, he still has his soul, all heavy and real inside him. And his heart, it beats, has been achingly beating for years now, mocking him. Thor hauls Stormbreaker into the sheath over his back and takes his first step into Hel.

He'd already made up his mind before Thanos fell. The times before, when they were still fighting, and even just after, there was always something to hold Thor back. There is no something, anymore. There is nothing. It is not even desire that pulls at Thor's gut—it is beyond need. There is no option of a life without Loki. Thor knows that now. He knew it the first time Loki fell, knew it for sure after Thanos crushed his neck. After the snap happened, the Avengers fled to upstate New York to make a plan and there was no rain for two hundred days. It took months to realize Thor was the reason why.

He hasn't told anyone that he's come here. He would have had nothing to say. There is no explaining, when it comes to Loki.

Thor smells it immediately after landing—the aftermath of death. But down here a soul is still sweet, and there's something almost tempting about the odor. All Thor has to do is follow it. Red dirt catches the bottoms of his boots as he walks, follows him, and there are hollowed bones along the road, leading him. What he's looking for is a gate. The outskirts of Hel itself it just a wasteland, just a flat red landscape with black mountains in the distance, a haze Thor can't discern as gray or black or what. Even the sky is red-hued, the air so quiet and still if Thor would not here for a very specific reason he might feel something akin to nerves. He just keeps walking.

Getting to Hel proved more difficult than Thor thought it would. He'd never been before, had no inkling of how to get there, even with Stormbreaker. He couldn't just will himself to a place he had no concept of. And the only one who might have known the way, was the very one he was traveling there to get. Thor spent years searching other realms in secret. He met with difference sorcerers on Vanaheim and Alfheim but kept his intentions vague, said nothing to suggest his true motive. He doubted any of the sorcerers he met along the way would have cared much. Still. Thor felt like this was something he needed to keep guarded, something to keep safe.

He finally found his answers in the dustiest, smelliest texts in Alfheim, deep in a forest dwelling. It took Thor nearly a year to translate the damn thing. But he found what he needed. He found his way into Hel.

Thor left that very day.

And here he is.

Hel isn't as closely guarded as Thor was once led to believe. But he supposes there's not much here to see, and certainly not much to take. And no one has ever walked out of Hel. Not once. Thor walks for a ludicrously long time and can see nothing ahead of him. It's as if there's no one here at all.

And there, as if materializing, is the gate. The gate is so black Thor can't recognize any kind of texture to it, and when he looks up, he can't see where the gate ends. To the side, he can't see how far the gate goes. He can see no guard. He can see no one at all. Thor hits the hilt of Stormbreaker against the gate and it rattles the metal, sends a reverberation out onto the landscape.  

Thor takes a breath and calls Loki's name as loud as he can.

The echo of his voice dies and then there is no sound at all. Thor calls Loki's name again. He edges closer to the gate and peers through. He sees some beings walking as if they have some sort of purpose or errand. They don't look at him.

"Hello," Thor says. "Who's in charge here? I'm looking for my brother. For Loki."

No one even blinks. It's like they haven't heard him at all. Thor growls from the back of his throat and hits the gate with Stormbreaker again. This time he uses the blade. The reverberation is louder, actually shakes the gate. And suddenly the beings scatter, like some great offense has been caused, or maybe someone is coming, and _good._ That's what Thor wants.

He doesn't have to wait long. There's a shadow that saunters through the red haze, lithe and tall. Thor tightens his grip on Stormbreaker and presses his toes into his boots.

"Oh, great," a voice says. "Now the other one is here."

There, visible now through the gate, stands Hela. Thor drops Stormbreaker and the blade of the axe wedges itself into the dirt. Hela doesn't look at all surprised to see him, just stands look there looking put out, that ridiculous headpiece on. Thor's jaw loosens.

"You—"

"Yes," Hela says. "Me."

She looks well, considering. Though being the Goddess of Death, Thor supposes that death is her best look. She sizes him up from behind the gate, thin fingers slotted casually together.

"You rule Hel now?" Thor asks, a little dumbfounded.

Hela rolls her eyes. "If that's what you want to call it. Can't exactly threaten them with death, though, can I?"

"No…" Thor says, suspicious.

"I know why you're here," Hela says, and pauses, squints. "Didn't I take an eye from you?"

Thor smiles and pokes the fake. "Found a new one."

"Of course you did," she says, lips thinning. "I know why you're here, brother."

Thor's heart jumps, settles. "Where is he?"

"I imagine he's off annoying someone else, since I'm otherwise occupied."

"I'm in no mood for games," Thor says. "I mean to take Loki back with me."

"And I mean to let you," Hela says.

Thor doesn't have an answer for that. Mainly because this wasn't supposed to be that easy. Thor did send Hela back to her death, after all, ruined her chances at domination and so she can't have any good reason for wanting to release Loki from Hel. Thor rips Stormbreaker from the red dirt.

"What kind of trick—"

"Don't be needlessly troublesome," Hela says. "I want the two of you gone."

"What?"

Hela makes a noise that sounds like _ugh._ She presses her fingertips to her temples and rubs gently. "The two of you…honestly, I've never met such annoying creatures in all my years. Your brother hasn't shut up about you since the second his soul entered through the gate. And I knew you'd come down here eventually, crying for him. Well, you can have him. Hel is my domain now. I've claimed it, and I want him out."

"You don't have that kind of power," Thor says, slowly.

"Uh, yes I do _,_ " Hela says.

Thor shifts his weight from the backs of his feet to the fronts to try and collect himself. He'd gotten all worked up on the way over with demands, with pleas. He's spent literal years preparing for this. He expected a fight. Now he isn't sure what he's supposed to say. Some strange, gremlin-like little creature scampers in the distance behind Hela, disappears into a rock. Thor sighs.

"You're letting me take Loki because he's annoying you?"

"As if he's been paid to," says Hela. "That, and I know how persistent you are, brother. How long would you stay here if I denied him to you?"

"I have an eternity," Thor says, and grins.

"So let's not draw this out." Hela snaps her fingers. "You can have him."

Thor feels immediately lightheaded.

For a moment he thinks something is wrong with him. Then he realizes he's just overwhelmed with the realization that he's going to see Loki again, really see him. It won't be a dream. He'll be able to touch him, talk to him. Thor grabs the hilt of Stormbreaker to steady himself. He's been ready for this moment for a long, long time.

"Bring him to me," he says.

"It's been nice catching up with you too," Hela says.

Her eyes flutter close, then open.

"I'm going to rejoin his body with his soul. He'll meet you at the gate shortly."

Thor starts. "But his body—"

Hela is gone before he can finish. Thor calls her name and gets no response. In the stillness, Thor tries to remember how resurrection works, or how Hela's version might, at least. Loki's corporeal body was destroyed, but his soul carried its own sort of blueprint, as it were. Thor knows that much. He just doesn't know if Loki will walk out of the gate with a body or turn to dust the moment his feet touch the ground. Thor swallows. He squints past the black bars of the gate again but still sees nothing, just distant beings walking, a city somewhere even farther. Hel is not the fiery pit humans imagine it to be. It is simply another world, just a slightly creepier one, in Thor's opinion. Certainly not a place he plans on going to for eternity.

Thor stands at the gate for so long he starts to think that Hela has deceived him. Then he hears a creak, like metal clinking, like a gate opening. Thor cranes his neck to the left and sees a part of the black gate has disappeared. And there, taking languid, carefree steps, is Loki.

Loki.

Thor doesn't realize he's said his name out loud until Loki turns to him. He's wearing a green tunic that's a touch too big for him and loose, black pants, black boots. He looks equal parts relieved and bewildered to see Thor. The gate rematerializes behind him. Loki smiles in a way so utterly him Thor wants to cry out and laugh at the same time.

"Hello, brother," Loki says.

Then he faints.

\--

Loki doesn't come to until they're back on Midgard. Even traveling out of Hel with Stormbreaker doesn't rouse him. Thor lands as quietly as he can and takes Loki straight to his room, places him on his bed and waits. He checks Loki's pulse and heartbeat a few times—both are strong. Thor sits on the edge of the bed, chews the cuticles of his nails down until Loki's body shifts and his eyes flutter open.

" _Loki._ "

Thor wants to grab him but thinks better of it. He keeps himself barely restrained while Loki lies there looking for all the universe like he has no idea what just happened. Eventually, he settles his gaze on Thor.

"Did our hateful witch of a sister really resurrect me?" he asks.

"Yes," says Thor, and cannot stop the grin that splits his face. "She said you annoyed and insulted her."

"If she didn't want to be insulted she should have chosen better furniture." Loki hums and examines his hands, his wrists. "How do I look?"

"Hideous," Thor says, laughing.

Loki's glare is a half-formed thing. Really, Loki looks wonderful. Beautiful. Alive. He's actually a bit paler than Thor remembers, but he doesn't comment on that. Loki probably just needs some food and water and he'll be fine. Thor should have thought to have some waiting for them. He curses himself now for not having the foresight, because he doesn't want to leave Loki's side to get it. He doesn't want to leave him at all.

"Welcome home," Thor says.

"Home?"

Loki tries to sit up and his body just collapses back against the bed, useless. Thor doesn't stop himself from touching Loki, this time. He grabs his shoulders, unable to school the concern on his face.

"What's wrong? Loki, what's wrong?"

"Oh don't do that," Loki says, shaking his shoulders weakly. "You're acting like that ridiculous chambermaid we had as children. I'm fine, I'm fine. I just need time to get used to having a body again."

Thor nods. "But this body…"

"A soul is a body, Thor."

Thor traces the collar of Loki's tunic and says that he doesn't understand.

"Neither do I," says Loki. "That's just what our sister said before she shoved me through the gate."

Thor frowns. Trying to make sense of it hurts his brain a bit, and he's not sure he knows anyone who could explain it to him, not even Bruce. If Loki is confused by it, then there's really not much hope for them. He doesn't care or want to understand it, at any rate. Loki is here, and that's what matters. Loki grabs hold of Thor's wrist gently.

"Anyway," he says, as if reading his mind. "I'm here."

"You are," says Thor.

"And I'm hungry," says Loki.

"Oh." Thor pulls back and stands. "I can do something about that. We have cooks again here now."

Loki rolls to his side. He looks hilariously limp and confused, half-sunk in Thor's pillows.

"About that," he says. "Where is 'here'?"

\--

Thor explains everything over food. He props Loki up in bed and sits next to him with plates of meat and fruit and veggies. Thor starts with the important news: Thanos is dead. He knows Loki has figured as much, but Thor delights in telling him anyway. And they live in Norway, now. The Asgardians who'd survived Thanos' attack on the ship and used the escape pods managed to survive long enough for Thor to find them. They set up here, where Thor and Loki had found Odin all those years ago. He'd told them, after all. This could be Asgard. And so it is. The Norwegian government has been kind enough to grant them part of the land as their own kingdom.

"We live on Midgard now?" Loki says. "With humans?"

"Yes," Thor says, chuckling. "We hardly let them in, of course. They're so ridiculous they end up hurting themselves. But it's not so bad."

Loki considers that and finally cuts himself a generous slice of chicken from the plate. He chews slowly, with effort. Thor wonders how long it's going to take for him to get his full strength back. When Loki tries to swallow, he gags, body wracked with spasms. Thor does the first thing he can think of—he puts his palm gently over Loki's mouth and strokes his throat with his other hand. He feels the violent bob of his throat muscles as Loki forces himself to swallow. Then Loki is breathing in heavy, wet puffs over Thor's palm. Thor pulls his hand back.

"Tell me more," Loki says, as if nothing happened. "I want to know everything."

Thor does. He talks and when Loki takes another bite and gags again, Thor repeats the same process. They do this over and over until Loki gets used to swallowing food again, until the sun has set completely and it's clear that Loki can barely keep his eyes open anymore. Thor takes his plate from him and Loki gives no protest, lids heavy.

"I've set a room up for you," Thor says. "But you can stay here tonight."

Thor sets their empty plates on the table he uses for work and pulls the curtains shut. He glances behind him and sees that Loki is watching him, and it's a strange look, one Thor doesn't quite understand.

"How long?" Loki asks. "How long have I been dead?"

Thor takes a deep, shuddering breath, hand ghosting against the curtain. He drops his gaze to the floor.

"Nearly a decade."

Loki says nothing. When Thor looks up, Loki's eyes are on the ceiling.

Thor dresses down for bed. He folds his clothes and sets them gingerly on the chair, shuts off all the lights except the one by his bed before joining Loki. Thor settles in bed and reaches for the bedside light, hesitates.

"I wanted to come for you sooner," he says. "So much sooner."

Loki doesn't answer. Thor looks over and sees that Loki has already been carried off to sleep, mouth parted. Thor shuts the light off.

\--

Loki isn't in bed when Thor wakes the next morning, and Thor panics. He feels the sheets where Loki had been and they're cool to the touch. He tries to remember if yesterday had been a dream. He's spent a long time dreaming about the day he'd bring Loki back. There's a terrible twist in his gut at the thought of yesterday having not been real, or worse, so temporary that Loki has somehow already left his side. Thor tugs on a shirt and slides into the hallway. He's about halfway to the kitchens when he hears a woman shriek with delight, turns the corner and sees Loki walking with a farmer named Ragna. Her arm linked in his. When she sees Thor, she shrieks again.

"Your Majesty," she says. "Did you see! Prince Loki has returned to us from the dead!"

"Yes," Thor says, heartbeat barely slowing.

Loki gently leads her away and shrugs. "I'm a walking miracle."

Thor waits until Ragna's turned the corner before he grabs Loki's arm.

"I thought something had happened to you."

"I went to get us breakfast," Loki says.

He doesn't try and twist from Thor's grip. Just looks at him, watches. Loki has always been able to say a great deal with his eyes. Thor nods. He lets go of Loki's arm slowly. Loki, who is his brother. Who isn't. Who was gone. Who is back.

"Let's eat then," Thor says. "But I'll get the food before you cause anyone else a heart attack."

They eat in Thor's room and Loki asks to see more of their new kingdom, their new Asgard. It delights Thor to hear that. Asgardia is the name, he tells him, to which Loki hums and says, "Well, we can work on the name."

Thor throws a hunk of bread at him.

"Are you sure you're up for it?" he asks. "Yesterday you could barely move."

Loki's wrist slides up from the table and twists, flickers green at the same time Loki's lips curve into a grin. Thor takes that to be his answer. They finish eating and Thor knows exactly where he's taking Loki first.

They sneak out much the way they used to as children, cloaked and everything. It isn't that Thor is hiding Loki from the rest of the Asgardians—they'll know soon enough, and they'll be glad of it—he's just enjoying having Loki to himself for as long as he can right now. When he hands Loki the hooded leather cloak, Loki raises his brows but doesn't comment. He follows Thor out of the west hall, through a wooden door and onto a path that soon leads them to a garden. This is the only Thor thing was really adamant about having resemble the old Asgard. Everything else Thor was ready to discard—there were too many secrets hidden in the old halls of the palace, too much that Thor was ready to leave behind. But this, this was something Thor couldn't leave behind.

"Do you like it?" he asks.

They're standing in rows of thousands of flowers, all yellows and reds and blues and purples. This was the garden Frigga nursed them in, that Odin played with them in, that they often snuck into as boys and tucked flowers into each other's hair. And later, when they grew older and harder, they would pluck the blossoms from their stems and crush them in their fists.

Thor traces the edge of a primrose. "They're not exactly the flowers we grew on Asgard, of course. The soil here is much too weak, and, well, Asgard sort of blew up. But I think it works."

Loki takes a seat on the grass. He looks exhausted suddenly, long legs crossed.

"You were always so sentimental," he says.

"You like it," Thor says, gesturing to the garden again.

And Loki doesn't say no and Thor is satisfied. Thor sits in the grass across from him and watches Loki alternate between plucking at the grass and admiring the flowers.

"We used to play in here for hours as boys," Thor says.

"Back when we were blood brothers," says Loki.

"What are we now?" Thor asks.

Loki plucks an arbutus from its stem. "I don't know," he says. "What am I to you, brother?"

Thor's chest goes tight, briefly. He could say so much. Too much. And so he says nothing. Loki presses the arbutus to his nose, inhales.

"Where to next?" he asks.

\--

They walk the cliffside and Thor watches as Loki appraises all that he's built in his absence. Asgardia is less than half what Asgard was, in terms of people. Even in size. The land is smaller, tragically fragile. But they are more a community now than ever before. The houses sit closer together and even though Thor is set up in his own private housing, he never turns down anyone from entering. There's just no reason. Everything is so different from before that Thor isn't even sure how to explain it to Loki, so he doesn't try. He lets him look. If Thor didn't know him as well as he does, he might think Loki is unimpressed by what he's done. But as it so happens, Thor knows Loki almost too well. And he can tell that Loki is proud of him. And maybe a little jealous. And for some reason, a little sad.

A sharp wind passes by them, carries their attention out to sea. Thor knows that Odin's shadow is still right behind him. Probably always will be. But he knows he can be a different kind of king. Thor thinks that Loki might be content to stay with him now even if he doesn't ask. It's strange, because barely any time has passed at all for them, and yet it feels like a hundred years with how much things have changed. Loki finally turns to him, says, "Not bad, brother."

Thor doesn't get a chance to react before a voice from behind them calls out, "See? See? It's him! It's Prince Loki!" He recognizes right away that it's the same woman from this morning, Ragna, only this time with several dozen more people in tow.

"It's good to be back, I think," Loki says.

\--

It takes literal hours for Asgardia to quiet down after they realize Loki's returned from the dead. There's a uniform sense of delight from everyone, and Loki revels in it. Thor lets him. They circle back the main hall and decide to have a feast. Thor isn't sure if he decides it, or Loki, or everyone. He doesn't mind at all. They're a lot smaller of a people than they were before. Thor knows what it means for all of them to be together.

They dine in the great hall, Loki bouncing from person to person, delighted by the attention, but always looking back to Thor, as if Thor might disappear from him at any moment. Thor encourages him wordlessly to go, go. Enjoy it. He eventually sits long enough to eat, his body warm next to Thor's. After he talks with his chin resting against his knuckles. The whole thing goes splendidly until someone asks how Loki came back to them. Thor chokes on his mead. He hadn't, in all his dreaming and planning to bring Loki back from Hel, actually considered what he'd say in way of explanation once he'd gotten him.

But Loki, quick and silver-tongued as always, saves him from having to sputter a lie. He slaps Thor's back casually while he attempts get his breath back properly and says, "I'm sorry for staying away for so long. I was hiding out in Vanaheim until I was sure everything was safe."

And there's laughter again, more drinking, more food. Loki is grinning and a little drunk, loose-limbed. He reminds Thor of how he was 500 years ago, when they used to bed each other in secret, half-ashamed and confused by their desire, but happy. Delirious. That feels like a different life, now. They never discussed it, and they never discussed stopping. It just happened, crumbled like so many things between them. And then Loki let the Jötnar into Asgard. And then, and then.

The dining and drinking continues until it's clear to Thor that Loki has exhausted himself. He moves up gently behind him.

"Don't you think it's time you retired, brother?"

Loki half turns to him, cheek brushing Thor's nose. "Do I have a curfew now?"

"You've been alive again for only a day."

Loki's eyes are heavy-lidded, and he must know it, because he doesn't argue. Instead he excuses himself, quite theatrically—splays his arms wide and bids everyone good evening. There's a collective _aww_ and Thor snorts, shoves Loki towards the door. But really, he's happy for the first time in years. This is what he's always wanted. This is what it was supposed to be like, all the years ago, when Odin first meant to have him on the throne: Loki by his side to laugh with him, annoy him occasionally, to talk his way into things and then out of them. Loki to guide him. Loki to love him. To just be there with him.

Thor drinks and stays with his people until the moon is fully out. He excuses himself after cleanup and walks into the cool night air, onto one of the stone pathways that lead to the houses below. He stands in the quiet, watches the moon, and feels oddly homesick. He thinks of Loki upstairs in his own room, probably asleep already. He reminded Thor so much of how he was before, tonight. He doesn't know why that saddens him a bit. Thor's eyes blur the image of the moon and he blinks. Then there's a sound like bushes being rustled, then a circle of light in front of him. Thor recognizes the portal instantly. He's seen it many times before. The wizard steps through and the portal clenches shut behind him, the night silent again.

"Wizard," Thor says.

"We've been over this. It's Dr. Steven Strange." He dusts off his sleeve. "You know why I'm here?"

Thor frowns in thought. "I don't think I do."

"Remember what I said, about keeping a watch list of beings who might be a threat to earth? Your brother is still on there."

Thor says nothing. He just hopes for Strange's sake, for both of their sakes, that Loki is actually asleep right now.

"I also know," Strange says, "that he died several years ago by Thanos' hand. So you can imagine how odd it was for me to have him suddenly pop up on my radar again."

Strange had been slowly circling the stone pathway, edging toward the bushes and taking in Asgardia, since, Thor notes bitterly, he hasn't actually visited yet. But he stops now, and levels Thor with a hard gaze.

"He did die, didn't he?"

"He did," Thor says. "And I brought him back."

"You _brought_ —"

"Yes. And I have nothing else to say about the matter."

Thor feels himself getting angry at the very thought of it. And the fact is that he could never explain it to Strange, not in his lifetime, anyway. Thor tugs at the bark of a silver birch, winces when he accidentally rips the bark away. The bark falls to the ground.

"Surely you can see where we'd need to have a discussion about this," Strange says.

"No." He doesn't want to talk about this. He's not ready to talk about this.

Strange looks ready to pull his own hair out. He takes manic steps back and forth along the pathway, muttering something, then stops suddenly, inhales, and holds the breath. Exhales sharply.

"Your brother," he says, "who attempted to take over the earth, is now currently living on said earth, and you don't think that's worth discussing?"

Strange is closer to him now, which isn't a wise move, because Thor is starting to lose his patience.

"My brother died fighting Thanos. I brought him back. His life is mine to oversee now."

Strange pauses. "I'm sorry—how did you resurrect Loki? I didn't realize you had any occult dealings—"

"This is beyond wizardry, wizard."

"Again, we prefer—"

"You're here because you want to keep track of Loki, who you think might be a threat to earth. He's not. If he were, who better to deal with him than me, his own brother? Now if there's nothing else…" Thor trails off. Normally, he'd offer an ale, but he feels that might be awkward, given the circumstances.

Strange's gaze softens suddenly. "You know I'm not here as your enemy," he says.

"Well, now that would be just foolish," Thor says, and smiles.

"Tony did say your relationship with Loki was…complicated."

Thor doesn't know how to respond to that. He could say it's not complicated anymore, except he isn't sure that's true. So he just gives a half nod, brows raised, shoulders shrugging. He's stopped questioning it. Loki is what he has. That's enough.

Strange makes some hand motions and opens another portal.

"You should know I'll still be keeping an eye on things from New York," he says, and Thor tells him that's fair enough.

Strange pauses before he goes into the portal. "I suppose talking to Loki would be out of the question?"

Thor just laughs.

Strange steps through and is gone just like that, a little spark behind him. Thor waits a moment in the darkness. Then he sprints back inside and rushes upstairs, nearly scrambles against the wall. He slows once he reaches the floor where his and Loki's rooms are, walks on soft feet to Loki's door and presses his ear to the wood. He hears nothing from inside. Thor twists the knob. Unlocked. He cracks the door open just enough to see Loki in bed, asleep on his back with his hair tied in a neat braid. Thor releases a breath he hadn't realized was caught in his throat. He watches Loki sleep a moment, then shuts the door and readies himself for bed.

\--

Thor catches Loki just after a bath the next morning. He's lounging in a towel on the bed when Thor comes in, hair dripping down his shoulders, belly against the mattress. Thor sits next to him on the bed and starts priming him on the work he's been doing lately, the sorts of things he's hoping that Loki will advise him on. Loki listens, pleasantly, through the whole thing, wet hair staining the sheets dark.

As soon as Thor finishes, he says, "So my life is yours to oversee now, brother?" And Thor's stomach drops to his feet.

"So you were listening."

Loki studies his cuticles. "Death made me no less devious."

"Brother, you have to know what I meant."

Loki looks up at him sharply.

"My life is my own. I can do what I please, Thor. I can go where I please."

Thor swallows past the thickness in his throat and says, "Do you mean to leave, then?"

"Perhaps I have other places to be," Loki says.

And Thor knows that's a lie, but it still stings, even though Loki won't look at him now. Thor rubs absently at the moustache of his beard and feels a familiar anger in him, the kind only reserved for Loki. He thought death would have made Loki slightly less contrary, at least.

"Why do you insist on still lying?" Thor asks, growling.

Loki looks at him, amused. "Who do you think you resurrected? And who says I'm lying?"

Thor stands and turns on his heel, frustrated. Yes, this is the Loki he remembers. Eternally frustrating. But things are still different. Rather than storm out, Thor turns back around, slowly. He can't stop looking at Loki's hair, inky black and damp. Thor steps forward slowly. Sits again. He runs his fingers through Loki's damps hair without thinking.

"What are you doing?" Loki asks, but he doesn't move.

"I feel like braiding your hair."

They used to take turns doing this when they were younger. Of course, Thor keeps his hair short now. But he doesn't mind it being one-sided. He divides part of Loki's damp hair into three neat sections and braids, twists that up and around until it keeps. Then he braids the lower section into smaller, neater plaits. Loki allows this. When he's finished, Thor runs his fingers through until the braids all come apart. He starts again. Loki lets out a low hum at one point, but other than that, he's silent. Thor finally settles on a three-plait braid down the middle, nice and thick.

"If you'd really rather go someplace else," he says.

Loki's voice comes out soft. "I have many allies in other realms."

"Sakaar?"

"Shut up," Loki says.

"Loki." Thor presses his braid neatly to the back of his bare neck and holds there. "Stay."

Loki finally looks up at him, the rims of his eyes slightly redder for every reason and no reason Thor can think of.

"I've already made that clear, you dolt," he says.

Thor watches him slide from the bed, clutching his towel to him until he shuts the door to the bath chamber tight behind him. Thor sits on the bed a moment, stunned. He'd thought for sure that Loki was going to argue more with him, say something venomous, or leave just to prove he could. This is not the Loki he remembers. A bird lands on the open windowsill and sings. Bruce had told Thor its name but he can't remember now. He can't seem to think at all. Thor pulls himself from the bed and leaves Loki's room, feels like he's walking on nothing at all.

\--

Thor wakes up because he can't breathe. His hands fly immediately to his throat, find it intact, smooth, working. He's certainly breathing now. Too hard, in fact. But the dream had felt painfully real. It wasn't just that he couldn't breathe. He felt his throat cave in completely, the crunch of his spine in the back of his neck. Felt his tongue swell in his mouth. Thor collapses back against his pillows as his eyes adjust to the darkness. There's silence, and Thor almost drifts back to sleep. Then something pounds its way into his head, this sudden sense of urgency. Sends a tingle all down his body like some alarm, has him stumbling out of bed and right out of his room.

He's in front of Loki's door before he even realizes it. Thor doesn't remember actually taking the steps to get there, but he's here now. He flattens his palms against the wood, thinks of knocking, but the urgency is so strong that Thor just opens the door, thankful to find it unlocked.

Loki's room is dark, and in the darkness Thor sees him in bed. Asleep. Asleep, but his eyelids and fingers are twitching, mouth open on some unspoken plea, brows twisted downward, and Thor realizes all at once what's happening.

"Loki," he says.

When his brother doesn't wake Thor walks over and physically shakes him. "Loki, wake _up._ "

And Loki does, violently. He thrashes under Thor's hands and scrambles up the bed, knife already in his hand. If Thor weren't just a fraction faster, he'd be stabbed. Instead he holds Loki's wrists in his hands and waits for him to realize that he's awake. It's only a few seconds before Loki registers Thor's face. Then he drops the knife and it disintegrates into nothing on the mattress. Loki then has the audacity to look annoyed, of all things.

"What," he says, chest still heaving.

"Tell me your dream," Thor says.

He can feel Loki's pulse beating too fast under his thumb. Loki tests Thor's grip, tugs his arms back, but Thor holds strong.

"You're being awfully nosy," he says. "Are you keeping a dream diary, brother? Shall we—"

"Do you dream about your death often?" Thor asks, and Loki's jaw snaps shut.

His pulse spikes again under Thor's thumb, this terrible little beat. Thor massages the bones of Loki's wrists without thinking. It is so quiet now Thor is sure he can hear both of their heartbeats, and Loki is looking at him like he has cracked open every single one of his secrets.

"Let go of me," he whispers.

Thor releases him.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Does it truly matter?"

And that is answer enough. Thor can't stand the thought of it, the thought of Loki in Hel, dreaming of his own death night after night, and waking up with no one there. Wandering around in the afterlife bothering Hela and knowing that any moment he slept he might fall right back into Thanos' grip. Thor reaches to his own throat, remembering the dream Loki had projected to him. He notices Loki watching him and slides his hand away from his throat.

"I didn't mean to reach out to you," Loki says. "My control on my seidr is not as strong as before yet."

"I'm glad that you did." Thor sits firmly on the mattress, Loki still halfway up the bed like he can't decide on going back to sleep or taking a lap around Asgardia. "Loki, you're not alone anymore."

Loki's smile is so brief Thor can't sure he didn't imagine it. But he doesn't imagine the moisture in Loki's eyes that he blinks away rapidly.

"Your face looks so ugly when you get sentimental," he says.

Thor grabs Loki's bare ankle and yanks him so he's lying down on the mattress again. They laugh for absolutely no reason, then, both of them shaking the mattress. Thor wipes a few tears from his eyes and squeezes the bone of Loki's ankle gently.

"Rest now, brother," he says.

Loki settles back into bed and Thor stays right there, sitting on the edge of the mattress. Loki blinks.

"Am I to rest while you watch me?"

Thor knows how to choose words carefully now with Loki. He simply shrugs, nonchalant. Casual.

"I'm just going to sit here a moment."

Loki arches a brow and props himself up on an elbow.

"Thor."

"Loki."

There's a brief moment of tension before Loki rolls his eyes and settles back against the sheets in acquiescence.

"If you insist," he says.

Thor gives Loki as much privacy as he can by staring at anything but him. He takes in Loki's room in the dark, a room he had modeled after Loki's own on Asgard. The architects thought he meant for it to be some sort of shrine, a room forever locked away as a memory. And for some time it was. After the room was finished Thor didn't venture in for years, not until he knew he was close to being able to bring Loki back. Then walking in was like stepping into a memory so overwhelming Thor had to lean against the wall for support. It was strange, because the room didn't even smell like Loki. It was all wrong, but soon it was going to be right, and knowing that sent Thor's pulse into a frenzy, made him dizzy.

Thor checks on Loki and sees his brother is still awake. Watching him. And not like before, with playful irritation, or even earlier, when he tried to pretend that nothing was wrong. He's just watching him openly. As if Thor is something to be watched. Thor blushes despite himself.

"Are you all right?" he asks.

Loki nods, already half-asleep.

"I am," he says.

Thor stays until Loki's eyes close. Stays until his breathing evens out and it's clear Loki is fast asleep. He stays even longer than that, just watching. Wondering what his brother dreams of when he isn't dreaming of death.

By the time Thor goes back to his room, it is near sunrise.

\--

They spend the next week doing what Thor had once thought could only be possible in another lifetime: they rule side by side. Thor supposes that for Loki, this _is_ another lifetime in its own way. It is for both of them. They settle an agricultural conflict between two of their farmers. Thor rushes to Oslo after a boat capsizes and two hundred Norwegians nearly drown. Loki keeps watch in Asgardia and does a fine job. He hasn't reached out with his seidr for Thor anymore but Thor still checks on him in the night sometimes, and sometimes Loki is choking in his sleep and Thor wakes him. They don't speak of it. They focus on ruling together. Loki agrees with Thor on most of the choices he's made—namely that Loki's presence should be kept quiet from the humans. And also that humans should be kept out, for the most part, for their own safety. They're just too fragile, compared to Asgardians.

"But I fear how much it isolates our people," Thor tells him.

They're sitting in the throne room, though the way Thor's had it designed, it's more like a gathering area, a meeting room to discuss things. Loki sits next to him, thumb at his lip.

"We got along quite fine without interacting with humans before," he says.

"That was before half our people were slaughtered." Thor leans back and stretches, feels his joints pop. "And when we had easy access to other realms."

"So we use them for friendship," Loki says. "You do realize how pathetic that sounds."

Loki has a small, neat plait of hair by his ear (Thor should know, he did it himself), and Thor pulls it. Loki hisses, scandalized.

'We're not _using_ them," he says, hating and loving the way Loki can twist words. "But what we have here only goes so far. And should we ever need aid—"

Loki barks laughter. Thor reaches for the plait again but Loki wiggles out of the way, stands from his chair and watches Thor with his arms crossed. He's not angry. He's listening. He's just being contrite.

" _Should_ we ever need aid," Thor says. "It's never a bad thing to have allies."

"Incredible," Loki says. "Next you'll want us to breed with them."

Thor watches Loki through his lashes. "Are you worried about the purity of our bloodline, brother?"

"I'm not Asgardian," Loki says, but not in anger. More like a gentle taunt, a reminder. And Thor says, "You know what I mean, Loki," with a blush on his cheeks.

Later in the week they give aid to Vanaheim, the aid literally being Thor and Loki. Thor takes Loki for his first ride using Stormbreaker. Loki clings reluctantly to his shoulders and yells that there should be an easier way. Thor tells him very cheerfully that he likes this one the best. But what he likes more than that is when they actually get to Vanaheim, surrounded by five hundred Dark Elves, and start to fight. What he likes is when Loki goes straight for his seidr, projections and clones and everything. How he works off Thor's own fighting style to take out ten elves at once with him. What he likes is how Loki hasn't changed in this. He still fights on the defensive, ready to get them an escape route at any second. When they were younger, Loki had saved Thor's neck a dozen times when Thor was too red-eyed to see how bad things were. Something sings in Thor now, to see it again. He's pretty sure it's joy. His axe cuts through a few more Dark Elves and he spots a few of Loki's daggers as they fly by.

By the end of it all, Vanaheim has pushed back the Dark Elves. Loki slumps against Thor, and when Thor looks down, he sees the faintest smile on Loki's lips. Loki doesn't complain when they travel back to earth and he has to hold onto Thor's shoulders. They return covered in sweat and dirt and blood. And they return happy. Loki is all limbs, loose and pliant when he lets go of Thor on the balcony. He practically glides into Thor's room. It's sunset now, everything bled orange, fire. Thor follows Loki inside, watches as Loki sits heavily on his bed. Instead of commenting on how he's just ruined his sheets, Thor sits next to him, close enough that their bodies are touching, and presses his head to Loki's. They don't speak, even though Thor desperately wants to tell Loki how much he's missed this, he doesn't speak. They stay like that for a long time. Until the sunset darkens. Thor pulls himself away, tells himself he must but gives no reason.

Loki stands once Thor is no longer touching him, stretches and cracks his tired bones. Thor can see just how bloodied he is now. The reality of the situation hits him very quickly. The fear. When Vanaheim called for aid, it hadn't occurred to him to have Loki stay behind. He was so excited to have Loki _with_ him. He thought of nothing else. But seeing him like this now, Thor realizes Loki could have died today. One slip, and he could have lost him again. Thor looks at him and isn't sure if the blood on him is elf blood or his own. Thor rushes up from the bed and grabs Loki, can't even speak. He just starts looking him over for wounds, checks his face, his neck, presses worried hands against his clothes to see if there are any gashes there. Loki's expression is poleaxed. He doesn't move at first. But the more Thor prods, Loki starts to tremble in his arms and that worries Thor even more that something did happen, Loki is injured somewhere.

"Where are you hurt?" he asks.

"I'm not." Loki pushes at him. "I'm  _not,_ you imbecile."

Thor lets go of him at once, embarrassed, palms burning. Loki adjusts his armor, pulls down on the leather and swallows thickly. Thor can't quite make himself breathe properly. He wants to tell Loki that maybe next time he should stay behind, but he knows what Loki would say. His life is not Thor's to command or oversee. Thor stands there feeling helpless and hot and his palms are still burning.

"I'm bathing now," Loki says.

He steps past Thor, muttering under his breath, the smell of him left lingering well after he's gone.

And Thor stands for a long time and remembers the feel of Loki trembling against him. The night loud now.

He thinks of going to Loki, he _wants_ to go to him. Only he doesn't. They'd spent mere hours on the ship together before Thanos showed up. When Loki had said _I'm here,_ Thor hugged him because he didn't have to think about it. Loki didn't return the hug at first. He allowed it, and Thor told himself that was enough. But Loki brought his arms around Thor eventually, slowly, and held him back, his heartbeat very solid against Thor's chest. They held each other until it became clear they _had_ pull back. Thor had to go be a king to his people.

And then Thanos.

They just never really got the chance to talk. Even when they had the chance in times past, they hardly took it. Thor has absolutely no idea where their relationship stands right now.

Thor finally gives in and goes to Loki's room. Loki magicks the door open when he knocks. He's dressed, hair damp, no trace of the earlier carnage on him. Loki folds his towel, looks up at Thor. Cocks a brow at his silence.

"What is it? As you can see, I'm very injured."

"I don't remember you being this funny," Thor says. "You should die more often."

Loki scoffs and takes a seat at the table by the window. Thor recognizes the silent permission to follow, so he does, sits opposite and watches as Loki combs through his wet hair. He drums his fingers on the wood a few times, a tic Loki clearly finds annoying. Thor flattens his palm on the table.

"It does suit you," Loki says. "Being king. Even if you didn't want it."

"That's…thank you, brother." Thor has no idea where that sentiment has come from, but he appreciates it nonetheless.

He watches Loki push the curtain aside to peek into the night, eyes bright, curious.

"Do you like it here?" Thor asks, and Loki shrugs.

"It's not terrible, for Midgard."

Thor pushes a little further, to be sure. Because he thinks he knows with Loki, usually does, but he'd hate himself if he were the only thing keeping Loki here, if Loki felt _obligated._ Even for him.

"Brother…if you ever wanted to leave, I wouldn't fault you," Thor says.

Loki turns from the window and looks so utterly appalled that Thor knows immediately that he's said the wrong thing. They both stand at the same time, Thor's chair tumbling behind him, but Loki turns away so fast Thor gets hit with wet hair.

"Loki—" Thor follows close behind, doesn't reach out. "I don't want you to leave. I just meant—"

Loki whirls around suddenly and Thor has to press his heels down to stop himself from running into him.

"Meant what? You waited ten years to bring me back only to tell me to leave?"

Thor's chest swells, both in guilt and anger.

"You're twisting my words, Loki. I waited ten years because I _had_ to. If I'd been given the choice, I would've brought you back the very next moment, this whole universe be damned." Thor has to pause, thinking about it, the absolute agony of waiting. No matter how short a time ten years really is for them in the long run, it was still too long.

"But you owe me nothing for that," he says. "I only intended to make that clear. I do not _want_ you to leave."

Loki takes a calculated step closer, chin up, defiant. There's nothing easy about the expression on his face. He looks hurt and distrustful and confused in ways Thor doesn't understand.

"Why did you bring me back?" Loki says. His eyes are wet. "Why did you do it?"

"You know why," Thor says.

Loki's voice is thick. "I _don't_."

"Because I love you, Loki. I refuse to live a life without you. You must know that. You must."

"Yes," Loki says, even-toned, eyes narrowed. "You love me. And yet you refuse to touch me the way you want to."

All the air in Thor's brain and lungs leave him. His groin tightens. Cheeks burning. He thought they might dance around this forever. He doesn't know why. It frightens him, and it's never not frightened him, to admit the depth of his desire for Loki. But he doesn't say that quickly enough. His mouth goes stupid. Loki takes a skittish step back, as if to flee for real.

And Thor, Thor grabs him. He doesn't mean to. He just does. Doesn't want Loki to run away, doesn't want to lose him. But Loki grabs him, as well, and they struggle for no reason. Thor can't even think. If Loki wanted to get away from him, he would. So they just push and pull at each other until they suddenly stop. Neither of them moves. They just stand there, holding the other like they're about to fight, breathing too hard, too fast. Thor suddenly has no idea what to do.

Loki kisses him.

Thor knows this is the kind of kiss you give after you've been dead for years and thought you'd never have the chance to do it again. When Loki pulls back, Thor goes forward again, searches his mouth out. Loki gives it willingly. Thor winds his hands into Loki's damp hair, cradles his skull, and Loki makes the sweetest noise into his mouth. Thor walks them forward and regrets it only slightly when Loki's skull collides with the wall. Loki doesn't seem to mind very much, he's already curling a leg over Thor's hip to pull him closer, and closer still. Thor pulls back only to catch his breath.

" _No,_ " Loki says, with a desperation Thor hasn't heard in years. "Don't stop."

He grabs disappointingly at Thor's shorn hair and tugs.

"I wouldn't," Thor says. "I don't dare, I—"

He can't finish. He kisses Loki again, full-mouthed, presses his hips fully into him and revels at how Loki groans into his mouth. Thor wants to see him, he wants to be over him, inside him, everything all at once. He wants so much he feels overwhelmed, shaken. It startles him when Loki pulls back to tug his tunic over his head. He's still as pale as ever. Thor can only admire him for a moment before Loki is pulling him back for another kiss. Thor starts pulling at his own clothing, the ties suddenly too complicated. He's only briefly washed himself before he came to Loki, just the blood and most of the dirt.

"I'm not as clean—" he starts, removing the top piece, and Loki growls and says, " _Good_ ," starts kissing and biting at Thor's neck. And something in Thor snaps spectacularly. He pulls back and when Loki goes to follow he keeps him against the wall with a broad hand against Loki's sternum. Loki's eyes flash but he stays there, chest heaving.

"Take off your pants," Thor says.

Loki doesn't need to be told twice. He pulls the loose fabric down and kicks them off. Soon as he does Thor is on him again. He kisses him soundly, feels Loki smile against his lips like he already knows what's about to happen. Thor growls, feels it in his throat, grabs the backs of Loki's thighs and lifts him. Loki helps by wrapping them tight around Thor's waist, the moan that escapes his lips unbidden. The bed is close enough, but they can't wait, they can't. Thor fumbles to undo his trousers just enough, Loki's cock already pressed wetly between them. It's only in that moment that Thor starts to get his wits about him and pauses.

"We need—" he says. "I'll hurt you—"

"You won't," Loki says.

Thor watches him skeptically.

"Loki."

"You won't," Loki says, and flushes deeper. "I touched myself in the bath."

Thor's breath catches in his throat and slides a hand further up Loki's thigh, lets a finger ghost along his hole. Sure enough, Loki is wet, not quite as tight as Thor would have expected. Thor swallows.

"Can I—"

Loki pushes himself down against Thor's finger before he can even finish. And he is loose for it, Thor slips right up to his knuckle, feels how hot he is for it. Thor groans and drops his forehead against Loki's shoulder. He adds another fingers, presses deep, searching. Loki pants against him for a moment, then starts pounding his fist into Thor's back.

"Your cock," he says, like he's furious. "Thor, gods, just give it to me."

If this were another time, Thor might tease him. And in another time, Thor thinks, he will. But as it were, he can't wait any longer. And that becomes even more apparent when Loki wraps a hand around his cock and squeezes gently. Thor sputters and his hips piston forward without his permission. Loki spreads the pre-come over his length, whispers something, and Thor feels impossibly wetter. The force of his own arousal has him almost weak. He slips his fingers out and resettles his grip on Loki's ass. They're both slick with sweat now, slippery, their bodies these heaving, wet things. Thor mouths absently at Loki's neck and spreads him open. Then he fucks into him.

Loki is tight, almost unfairly so, and Thor loses himself almost immediately. Means to go slow but Loki pulls him in faster, gasps filthy into his ear and keeps those long legs and arms wrapped around him. He bottoms out with his teeth sunk into Loki's neck, sweat dripping down his temple.

" _Thor,_ " Loki says, so much reverence in his voice all Thor can do is continue to drive his hips in.

It's everything. Everything. Thor feels too hot, and Loki is perfect inside, makes the most beautiful noises when Thor thrusts his hips just right. He can hear Loki's sweat slick back on the wall, fears for a moment he might fuck Loki straight through it. And Loki takes everything he gives, kisses him sloppily, pants into his open mouth and Thor holds him the whole time, doesn't tire once. They go like that for hours before Thor finally comes, drives Loki farther up the wall as he spills into him, feels Loki's toes curl against his back as he does so.

They pause, finally, and there is just the silence of night and them panting. Loki's forehead is pressed against Thor's shoulder, and Thor is still holding Loki's ass open reverently, can feel some of his own spend starting to leak out. Then Loki wiggles a bit in his arms, shifts, and Thor realizes he's hard still, is trying to get enough friction so he can come. Thor bites his shoulder and Thor lowers them both gently to the floor. He takes Loki's cock into his mouth.

" _Oh_ ," Loki says, and the muscles of his stomach spasm.

He's only on him for a few minutes before Loki's back arches beautifully and he comes.

Thor pulls Loki to him, after, surrounded by their clothes, both of them sweaty and panting, though Loki looks far more spent. He watches Thor through his lashes and Thor presses a thumb to Loki's swollen lips. Loki gives the quickest kitten-lick to the pad of Thor's thumb and Thor's groin twists hot again. His thighs are burning, sweat stinging his eyes and his beard has rubbed Loki's mouth red. Thor exhales like he's been holding his breath for months.

"If you bathe," Loki says, "perhaps I'll let you sleep in my bed."

Thor smacks his bare ass and Loki yelps.

\--

He wakes to Loki staring at him, one leg slung over his thigh. The room still heavy with sex. Thor blinks himself further awake and tries to decipher Loki's expression. But there isn't one, really. He's just staring at him, as if that's all he wants to do. It's like Loki is staring just because he can. Thor is about to ask him exactly what he's doing when Loki darts forward. He nearly kisses Thor, nearly. Instead he nuzzles his beard, mouth still swollen, like the insufferable little tease he is. So Thor grabs him by the jaw and kisses him properly. He doesn't even mind that Loki's breath is slightly sour, just loves the way Loki melts against him, their bodies tangling up in the bed.

When Thor finally releases him, Loki whacks his hand away and yawns. Then he gets up from the bed and puts on pants. Thor watches him, and the sliver of light coming through the curtains.

"What now?" he asks.

Loki grabs a tunic from his bureau and slips it over his head. "What do you mean, 'what now'? Now it's time for breakfast."

"But, do we—"

Loki slams the bureau drawer shut.

"I believe we covered everything last night, unless you have another question."

Thor has almost too many. He finds it hard to believe that Loki doesn't. Less difficult to believe is that Loki has no desire to ask those questions right now, so Thor gets out of bed and retrieves his scattered armor from Loki's floor. He changes quickly in his rooms and he and Loki eat breakfast together outside on one of the terraces. Asgardia is colder today, cloudy. Asgard was never cloudy. Loki sits close to Thor and picks apples off his plate.

They're quiet for a time, maybe too long. Thor isn't sure if it's awkward or not. He's suddenly forgotten how he and Loki have acted around each other for the last fifteen hundred years. So he reminds Loki that he's meant to visit Venezuela in the coming week and Loki nods, eyes on the horizon.

"Where is that realm, again?" he asks.

"They call them countries," Thor says.

Loki smiles, says, "Ridiculous creatures," and steals a hunk of bread from Thor's plate. They drink their coffee and the rain comes and they have to go back inside. Thor realizes the silence isn't awkward—it just is, they are like they were. They walk in the halls together and Thor tells Loki his plan for Venezuela, how long he'll be gone, what needs to be done. He leaves out the part about the trip being an honorary ceremony for him and the remaining Avengers. Thor isn't so stupid as to reignite Loki's fierce jealousy. Loki is nodding along, oddly quiet, when Thor notices he has a smear of red jam at the corner of his lip.

And Thor remembers the red rings of blood around Loki's eyes after Thanos killed him, how he cradled his body until the Ark was decimated completely. The moment Loki's body slipped away from his, when Thor thought he would never touch or see him again, was his last thought before he lost consciousness. He spent a long time not wanting to remember at all, not even the pretty words Loki said before Thanos crushed his windpipe.

But Thor remembers.

And he understands.

He stops, suddenly, and Loki halts with him, looks to Thor with a questioning, half-amused gaze.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize it before," Thor says.

"Well you've never been quick on the uptake," Loki says. "But what are we talking about?"

"What you said to me before Thanos killed you."

Loki drops the easy expression on his face and goes rod straight. Thor doesn't know if it's from being dead or what, but Loki is a lot worse at hiding his emotions now than ever before. It takes him two seconds too long to recover and laugh, casually, as if Thor is being ridiculous.

"I was speaking to Thanos."

"Loki." Thor moves closer to him, breathes out when Loki doesn't move back. "Are you embarrassed now?"

He gets a hiss for that, Loki's forearm in his chest.

"Are you making fun of me?" he asks, and his index finger twitches.

"I'm _not,_ " says Thor.

He gently takes Loki's hand in his own, the one that's pressed against his chest and potentially itching to call upon his seidr for a knife or turn Thor into something small and easy to step on.

"You declared your undying fidelity to me," Thor says. "Did you mean it?"

Loki goes silent. Thor is close enough to see himself reflected in Loki's eyes, and he's not hiding anything from him. He's not trying to. Thor is pretty sure he's been trying to tell him this whole damned time, but he needs to be sure. One always has to be sure, with Loki. Thor swallows and licks his lips, once, twice. Loki follows the motion, eyes glazed like he's reliving the moment of his death one thousand times over.

"Yes," he says, voice very soft now. "Though to be fair, I thought I was going to be dead permanently."

Thor smiles.

"I'm sorry to have ruined your plans," he says.

Then he licks his thumb and wipes away the jam at the corner of Loki's mouth. Right there in the open hallway. Loki jerks back like Thor has electrocuted him. Looks at him.

It's not like 500 years ago, the two of them hiding, half-ashamed. They are not like 500 years ago. Thor wants to kiss Loki, right here and now. Sees that Loki is barely restraining himself from doing the same. Thor reaches for him and Loki just sort of folds into his touch. They're only together for a moment before someone calls Thor's name from a distance. Loki pulls away so fast there's a _pop_ sound between them. They both move to opposite sides of the hallway as one of the guards comes bounding down the hallway, oblivious.

"Your majesty," she says. "Tony Stark is here to see you. He brought a strange creature with him."

"…All right," Thor says. "Thank you."

He turns and sees Loki literally leaning against the wall for support.

"Are you okay?"

Loki shakes his head and stands upright quickly.

"I'm fine," he says. "Let's see what your friends want this time."

\--

Tony is waiting for them in the throne room with Rocket. He doesn't look too happy. He doesn't necessarily look angry, but Thor wouldn't say he looks ecstatic, either. Thor knew, of course, after Strange came, that it would only be a matter of time before the rest of them found out. If the original plan had worked out after Hela, and Thanos hadn't attacked the ship, Thor would have brought Loki to Midgard regardless. This was going to happen eventually.

Once they get close enough, Rocket cocks his head at Loki a few times. He's sitting in Thor's chair, his throne, technically, though Thor really hates that word.

"So this is the brother," he says to Thor. "You don't really look alike."

"This is a raccoon," says Loki.

Thor ignores them both. Looks at Tony.

"I thought we discussed you calling before coming here," he says.

"Yeah," says Tony. "The thing about having a phone is that you have to turn it on for people to call you."

Tony gives Loki a sidelong glance. Loki smiles very sweetly at him, which is not helpful. Tony very quickly turns his attention back to Thor.

"We need to talk in private," he says.

"Why have you brought a raccoon with you?" Loki asks, and points to Rocket.

"Hey, watch who you're talking to, zombie-god," Rocket says.

"He's supposed to keep you occupied," Tony admits.

"What?!" Rocket says. "You told me I had a very important job."

"Thor," Loki says, with a tone that says he's not above stabbing Thor's friends.

Thor leans closer to him and lowers his voice, tucks his shoulder against Loki's for some semblance of privacy.

"Give me a moment with Stark," he says. "Something isn't right."

Loki's voice comes back as a hiss. "He brought a baby-sitter."

"Think of Rocket as a…pet."

"I do _not_ want—"

"Loki," Thor says. "Please."

There's a long silence. The echoes of all their voices are still hanging in the room and Thor can hear the rain outside, constant and erratic from the wind. Loki finally rolls his eyes. He doesn't agree outright. But he does turn back to Rocket and say, "How would you like to be an opossum? My animal-casting spells are rusty."

"A what now?"

Loki leads Rocket from the room and the doors shut. As soon as they're closed Tony takes a seat at the table and extends both arms out to the side. Thor has spent enough time on Midgard to understand that's the universal sign for "What Do You Think You're Doing?" Thor stands there and waits for him to speak. He's ready for it.

"So what's going on, big guy?" Tony asks. "The wizard calls me up and says you did some Norse voodoo and brought Loki back to life. And since I just saw him walking and talking, I'm of the assumption he was telling the truth."

"I suppose chalking that up to hallucination is out of the question," Thor says.

Tony shrugs. "Depends on what kind of mushrooms you grow here."

Thor leans in and presses his palms against the table. He isn't sure how else he can explain this. There's really nothing to explain. Loki is back because Thor wants him to be back. Why humans insist on complicating things further, Thor will never understand.

"I've already told Strange that Loki is no longer a threat to earth."

Thor has to force himself to sit down. He asks Tony if he wants something to drink. Something alcoholic.

"Actually, yes. What was it that you gave me last time? Mead? Let's have that."

Thor calls for mead. They make idle talk while it's being fetched, mostly about how Pepper is and why cars are still being launched into space, then the mead finally comes. They pause for a moment to drink and Thor looks at Tony and realizes how old he looks now and remembers that humans really are that fragile. Their lives a blink. Tony sets his tankard down and wipes at his mouth.

"Thor, what the fuck were you thinking? You live on earth, now."

"Asgardia is on earth," Thor says. "We don't operate by earth's laws. That was made very clear when the land was given to us. It's completely separate."

"You've still brought a known threat to a planet it once attacked." Tony cradles his face in both hands and pushes his hair back from his face. "You see the issue, right? I know you love your brother, man. Us knowing is one thing, but once other people find out…how will that affect your people? Any of this?"

Thor glances briefly into his mead.

"You think I'm a fool," he says.

"No," Tony says. "Well, yes. I mean. I know you and Loki are…complicated, to put it lightly. I know what he did for you, but that doesn't change what he's done. If Loki is going to stay here, people have to know. The United World Summit is meeting in two weeks, and Natasha and I are going to have to inform them. Or, you could inform them yourself. Asgardia may not be technically part of earth but it's still _on_ earth."

Thor drinks the rest of his mead in one go. It slides easy down his throat, but sticks there. Thick.

"You think they might want Loki to leave?"

"I…can't say one way or another." Tony speaks into his mead. "What will you do if they ask him to leave?"

"That isn't an option," Thor says, voice steel.

Tony looks shocked by that, but he schools his expression quickly. Thor actually shocked himself by saying it. He doesn't remember thinking the words, only knows that he spoke them. It doesn't change how feels. Thor clears his throat.

"I'll speak to earth's leaders," he says. "You've made your point clearly. I won't ask you to take on this burden."

"That's…good," Tony says. "Thank you. I mean that, Thor. I know what it means, to get back someone you love. That someone just happened to have tried to take over earth once." Tony shrugs his shoulders up to his ears. "But, hey. Fury is on the Summit. He likes you…it might not be so bleak."

Thor nods and they lapse into an awkward silence. Tony swirls the remains of his mead around in his tankard and tilts his to the side. Thor doesn't blame him for this, any of it. After Thanos, they can't take risks anymore. But Thor doesn't want to risk losing Loki again.

"Okay," Tony says finally. "I have to know. How did you resurrect Loki?"

Thor laughs for the first time.

"Well, I'd gone to Hel with the intention of taking Loki by force, but he'd annoyed our sister so terribly she let me take him with me," Thor says, just as Loki returns with Rocket, who's now a piglet.

\--

Thor explains the situation to him once Tony and Rocket leave, the rain still beating down around them outside. Loki listens with absolutely no expression on his face. Even with the curtains open, the throne room is dark now. The sky is dark. The whole day is dreary and wet and Thor hates it. Days like this, Thor hates Midgard.

"And if they demand I leave?" Loki asks, toneless. "What will you do then?"

"They won't," Thor says.

Loki's laugh is hollow. "But if they do?"

He looks at Thor in such a way, it's as if he's already believes that the United World Summit will say no. That Thor will just abandon him. It sparks the strangest anger in Thor, hits him right in his belly so fast Thor has to physically stand up. He doesn't get the chance to say anything before the guard from earlier enters to inform them that the southern farmlands are flooding.

Loki does a spectacular job of avoiding him for the rest of the day. Thor helps divert the water flow away from the farmlands and makes sure everyone is safe and has shelter for the night. Loki is nowhere to be seen. And when Thor returns in home, Loki isn't in his room. He's not in Thor's room, either, nor the garden. He's vanished.

The rain finally lets up by evening. Thor has taken care of what he's had to but done little else. He sits in the throne room and stares into nothingness, thinking. When they'd been building everything, beings in other realms had offered gold to help reproduce the likeness of what Odin had created. Thor refused that. He built everything from the ground up with his people.

But he never wanted the throne.

Thor eventually drags himself back upstairs to his room. He bathes quickly and redresses. Goes to Loki's room. Everything is dark. Thor switches the light on and watches the room flicker with light, as empty as it was earlier in the day. Thor swallows.

"Loki, I know you're here."

Silence.

"Loki," Thor says.

Loki finally materializes in front of him, cross-legged on the sofa, hair all pushed to one side. Thor assumes he's been there all day, though he can't be sure. He knew Loki wouldn't actually leave Asgardia, but that was all. Loki looks tired, probably from the amount of seidr he's used to keep himself concealed all day. Thor can see his bare feet, pale and bony.  

"There's really nothing to say—" Loki starts, but Thor is on his knees in front of him before Loki can finish. He lays his head in Loki's lap and just rests it there, exhales, lets the whole weight of everything leave him.

"I have no idea what to do," he says.

Loki doesn't move. Thor doesn't even hear him breathe.

"Loki, I want you by my side forever, but I can't ask our people to abandon earth. If there were another who could take the throne…that might change things. I just don't think…"

Thor trails off when Loki starts petting his hair, then yelps when Loki suddenly grabs a fistful and forces Thor's head up. Thor winces. Looks at Loki.

"Do you think I'm some sort of fool?" Loki says. "I know all that. You're a king now, Thor."

"But you—"

"But nothing."

Loki releases Thor's hair and stands. It's not nothing, though. Thor scrambles to his feet and grabs Loki before he can slip away. Years ago, too many years ago, they didn't know how to talk to each other. They couldn't talk to each other. They were violent and left bruises and bite marks on each other's thighs that were meant as promises. But they aren't those same boys anymore. They don't have to do that anymore. Thor cradles Loki's face in his hands. Loki's eyes are so wide the whites of them have nearly disappeared, though he doesn't try and get away. Thor knows exactly what he's thinking, and a hundred years ago he might have throttled him for it.

Loki, intelligent as he is, remains the biggest fool when it comes to Thor.

"You think I haven't forgiven you."

Loki's inability to answer immediately is confirmation enough.

"I did not bring you back from Hel," Thor says, steady, so Loki doesn't misinterpret any of what he's saying, "out of pity, brother."

Loki looks just past Thor, at some distant point over his shoulder. Thor can tell it takes a great amount of effort for Loki to tear his gaze away. He knows how much pride his brother has.

"I haven't asked for your forgiveness," Loki says, though his voice is much softer now, fragile.

"And yet you have it." Thor watches the thin, stubborn line of Loki's mouth, the near imperceptible tremble in his jaw. "Look at me."

Loki does.

"Listen to me," Thor says. "Enough games, enough doubt. I pledge my undying fidelity to you as well, Loki. Here and now. You've always had it. Always. We will find a way, I swear it."

Loki says nothing. Thor's not entirely sure he can even nod at the moment. Slowly, the features of his face soften more, brows smoothing out.

"Thor," he says.

Thor swallows. "What?"

"Kiss me."

"Ah," says Thor, and does.

This is what he's been wanting all day, before Tony and Rocket showed up. Before the reality of what Loki's done and who Thor is and their situation came rushing back to them at full speed. Loki likes to press his whole body into Thor when he kisses him and Thor loves it, the feel of Loki against him, slighter than him but so solid. Loki pulls back and traces the shell of Thor's ear.

"I have oil," he says.

Thor fingers him for hours. He gets four into him and Loki takes them lying on his stomach, humps the mattress and moans slutty for it the whole time, content to let Thor take him right to the edge and then pull him right back. Thor sits there, fascinated at the way Loki fucks himself against his fingers. He tugs at his cock a few times to take the pressure off. He knows they'll be going all night.

"Do you want my cock?" he asks eventually.

Loki shakes his head, panting. Thor eases his fingers out and Loki flips their positions, puts Thor on his back and crawls over him, right down to his cock. He taps his thigh silently and Thor knows to bend his knees. Loki's oiled fingers trace the rim of his hole and Thor jumps. All he can see are Loki's thighs spread over his stomach, his ass still wet and open.

Then Loki slips two fingers into Thor's hole, takes his cock as deep into his mouth as he can, ass pressed to Thor's face and all Thor can do is arch up, gasp. He rubs his hands over the globes of Loki's ass, and when Loki presses some spot inside of him, he grips so hard he knows he'll leave bruises. He feels Loki moan around him, encourage him. Thor can't take it anymore. He pulls Loki down just enough to lick a hot stripe over Loki's hole, taste him. Loki moans around him again and they move like that, Thor's thumbs dimpling Loki's ass cheeks.

Loki eases his fingers out and then eases himself onto Thor's face and Thor lets him ride it, gets Loki filthy, dripping wet and pinked from his beard. Thor holds him open and Loki rocks down against him, fingers splayed over Thor's chest, nails tickling the skin there. Thor opens his eyes and sees the sharp line of Loki's back. He moans into Loki, swallows, hears Loki make a sound like a sob.

"I'm going to come," Loki says.

That's when Thor pushes Loki gently back onto his hands and knees. Loki collapses to his side and is a mess, shaking, all of him flushed.

"Dammit, Thor, why did you—?"

"I want to be inside you," Thor says.

He lifts Loki's leg up and sees Loki's hole, how wet he is. Loki shivers.

" _Please_ ," he says.

Thor eases in, Loki's leg resting against his chest, and Loki takes it so _easy._ He arches and grips the sheets with both hands, takes his bottom lip into his teeth. Thor kisses the sharp bone of his ankle. He fucks him like that, nice and slow, just holding Loki's leg up. Loki can only pant wetly against the sheets. He just takes it. Thor keeps telling himself to speed up, change positions, because neither of them will really get off like this, but Loki mesmerizes him in this moment. Loki gets this look in his eyes, but it disappears so quickly Thor can't be sure it was really there. Then he starts squirming.

"Thor, come on, come _on._ "

"What?" Thor asks, as Loki clenches around him, so tight Thor stutters.

"I want to feel you in me and I don't want to feel anything else," Loki says.

"Oh, is that what you want?"

" _Thor._ "

Thor lets his cock slip out and drops Loki's leg. That's the only warning Loki gets. Thor rolls him into his belly and yanks him up by his hips onto his hands and knees. Fucks back into him so fast Loki's breath is punched out of him, just arches his back and lets his head drop back. Then he laughs, actually laughs, the sound strangely erotic.

"Yes," he says. "Like that. _Fuck._ "

Thor plants one foot on the mattress to give himself a bit more leverage. It's fine like that for a while until Thor realizes that he really wants to see Loki while they do this, look at his face. So Thor pulls out again, this time gentler, though he flips Loki over so hard Loki bounces on the mattress. Loki just laughs again, delighted by it. He wraps his legs around Thor's hips and they work Thor back into him again together, though it hardly takes any work at all, Loki is so loose for it now. Thor lets more of his weight drop onto Loki, surrounds him, watches the way Loki starts to lose himself. He's close.

Thor pushes Loki's sweaty hair back wildly, with the oddest desire, now of all times, to braid it.

"Look at you," Thor says, and kisses Loki full-mouthed. "I missed you."

Loki breathes something into his mouth that sounds like _Me_ and Thor forgets himself, drops his head into Loki's hair and keeps whispering, "I missed you," hips working, until he finally breaks the loop. Thor smiles down at Loki, back with it and suddenly Loki's trying far too hard to stay quiet. His entire bottom lip is tucked behind his teeth. He looks on the edge of something devastating. Thor slows a bit in his thrusts.

"Are you all right?"

"Don't stop," Loki says. "Please."

Thor doesn't. He grabs a handful of Loki's thigh to angle himself even deeper. He understands in a way that he shouldn't. Thor presses his face to the small space where Loki's jaw meets his ear.

"It's okay," he whispers. "Brother, it's okay. I'm yours."

Loki sobs for it then.

"Thor," he says. " _Brother._ "

Only he's babbling it, hysterical. And somewhere in there Thor is sure he hears him say he's going to come.

"I know," Thor says. "Loki— _oh._ "

He feels it. Loki goes tight, body white hot. Thor fucks him through it until Loki stops shaking. He tries to ease out, only Loki squeezes his legs tighter and shakes his head.

"Let me feel you spill," he says. "Inside."

It gets Thor's pelvis aching to hear Loki talk like that. Thor keeps going until he comes inside Loki. And Loki _moans_ when he feels it, back arched. That actually makes Thor blush. He pulls out and presses a kiss to Loki's belly. He tastes salt there. He tastes Loki.

They bathe together after, back to chest. Thor shampoos Loki's hair and Loki leans back against him, half-asleep.

"Your hair has gotten long," he says.

Loki hums.

"Maybe I'll grow my hair out again," Thor says.

"Maybe," Loki says, slumped against him.

"…Maybe I'll cut your hair right now."

"Mm."

Loki after an orgasm is always lazy and slow-mouthed. Thor loves it. He's missed it. They drain the water and crawl into Loki's bed, slightly damp still, naked. Loki has his wits about him again. They lie face-to-face, and Thor can see the look in Loki's eyes from earlier. Like he's never been this close to anyone and it scares him, terrifies him. Thor knows, because he feels it too. It's always been them, and Thor has always known that, somewhere very deep in his bones, the decision made long before he ever consciously made it himself.

He shifts to speak, but Loki leans in and kisses him, quick and chaste, on the corner of his mouth.

"Go to sleep, Thor," he says.

And Thor does.

\--

The next week is like a dream. They kiss behind closed doors, sometimes open ones, make love on every possibly surface and Loki drapes himself over Thor in the halls with outright challenging possessiveness and no one says anything or minds. Sometimes Thor finds Loki in the garden tending to the flowers, the way Frigga used to, and sometimes Thor sits with him. Most of the time they're taking care of Asgardia. Loki is never in his own room anymore, and sometimes at night he still wakes up shaking from nightmares of his death or the long, dark nothing that lasted for too long afterward, and Thor is glad to be there for that. But they happen less frequently now.

For two days Thor is in Venezuela and they are the longest days. They're also awkward, since the remaining Avengers now know that Loki is back. Even though no one says anything, the mood is still off. There's not so much judgment as there is a jealous understanding. Thor knows they all have people they wish could be alive again.

And when he returns to Asgardia, he returns to Loki. It's easy to forget that the United World Summit is meeting in just another week's time when Loki is constantly petting his thigh and being adored by their people. At night, when Loki is asleep next to him, Thor thinks of ways to convince earth's leaders that Loki's presence on earth is no longer a threat.

"Perhaps if we told them you'd be willing to serve as a part-time Avenger," Thor says one evening.

"Oh, I'm sure your friends would love that," Loki says. "Hold still."

He's sitting in Thor's lap trimming his beard, even though Thor is perfectly capable of trimming his own beard. Loki said he wanted to do it, and Thor is obliging him. Thor huffs when Loki wipes a stray hair from his bottom lip.

"If I go in there without a single solution for your presence on earth, it doesn't look good."

"It hardly matters," Loki says. "They won't agree to it either way."

Thor pushes the scissors away and kisses Loki firmly. Loki grunts, thighs tightening where they're spread around Thor's hips.

"They might," Thor says.

"Idiot," Loki says, fondly.

If Thor didn't know better, he'd think Loki didn't care either way what happened. But he sees how weary Loki looks as the days pass. He's far less optimistic about this than Thor, though Thor has to admit he has no idea if things will work out in their favor. And they've yet to discuss it, but they both know what may happen if earth's leaders say no to Loki staying on earth.

He watches Loki one morning after sex. Loki on the sheets, red from where Thor held him, sweat-glistened and happy. He's running his fingers through his tangled hair to smooth it out. Thor leans over and kisses a bruise he left on Loki's clavicle. Loki hums.

"Why did you stop coming to me?" Thor asks. "All those years ago."

Loki shrugs, keeps pulling at his hair.

"I knew you didn't love me anymore."

"Loki…that's ridiculous. I never…I've never once not loved you. I've never not desired you."

Loki's fingers pause in his hair and pull free. "Then why didn't you come to me?"

"I thought you were angry with me. And after my coronation, well. I thought you hated me, for a brief time."

Loki reaches out and traces a bite mark he left near Thor's right nipple. It's always amazed Thor, Loki's ability to move so quietly, even when he was right next to him.

"I did hate you," Loki says. "But I never stopped loving you."

They dine with their people that night, a celebration for no reason. Summer will end soon and Asgardia isn't used to harsh winters. Once they celebrate the turn to autumn, they'll have to start getting ready. After dinner, Thor and Loki walk the gardens in the moonlight, Loki oddly quiet. For some reason, Thor thinks he looks shorter than he should.

"I go before the United World Summit in two days," Thor says.

Loki nods and lets his hand drifts over the primrose petals to his left.

"A pity these flowers won't survive the fall."

Thor growls and grabs Loki's arm, halts the walk entirely. Loki looks entirely unsurprised at the outburst. He doesn't pull free of Thor's grip.

"Why won't you speak to me about this?"

"We have nothing to speak about," Loki says. "We can't speak hope into existence."

"But we might—"

"If they demand I leave, maybe I should."

Thor lets go of Loki's arm and feels his blood go hot with possession. He's always felt possessive of Loki, always, sometimes in unflattering ways. The thought of letting Loki go again, especially now, is unfathomable. Thor refuses to consider it any further. The fact that Loki is considering it at all hurts. After all they've been through, how could Loki even entertain the idea of being apart again?

"You're not serious," he says.  

Loki smiles grimly. "We do have a terrible habit of trying to destroy each other at some point."

"That was before."

Loki cups Thor's face in his hands.

"I've always admired your blind optimism."

"Where would you even go?"

Loki's mask only falters for a second, but that's enough. Loki has never been as good at hiding his true feelings from Thor as he claims to be. Not anymore. Thor grabs his hands.

"Loki. Have I not earned your trust?"

Loki's expression turns severe, jagged in the moonlight.

"It isn't you I distrust," he says.

Thor understands, then, and almost wishes he didn't. It might always be in Loki's nature to distrust some part of himself, to distrust that things will always work out in the way that Thor does. Loki is Loki. He will never not be Loki, and Thor has accepted that. He doesn't want anything but that. Thor releases one of Loki's hands and holds his neck, fingers tangled in his hair to ground his brother with him.

"Loki…"

He means to say more but he notices that Loki looks exhausted, absolutely drained. Thor frowns.

"Are you all right?"

"All that celebrating tonight ruined me," Loki says. "I forgot how much our people enjoy a good dance."

Some odd feeling creeps into the back of Thor's head, and he decides to continue the conversation later. For now, they can sleep. He says as much, and rather than protest, Loki just leans into him, relents.

Everything smells floral and Loki is warm against him. Thor walks them to bed.

\--

He dreams of Asgard. He dreams of endless summer. He dreams of making out with Loki in the library some two hundred years ago, more a memory than a dream, though in the dream Loki pulls back, apologizes.

"For what?" Thor asks.

Then Loki slips right from his grip and the library is empty. Not even a book in sight.

Thor wakes. Loki is sitting on the edge of the bed, back facing him. Thor feels that some odd feeling in the back of his head again, only this time it hits him so spectacularly fast he nearly goes dizzy with it.

"Loki?"

Loki's voice comes like smoke. "Thor, I don't feel well."

He still doesn't move. Thor has to swallow a few times to find his voice.

"…Turn toward me."

Loki does. He looks like _death._ Thor can see the bluish-green veins behind his skin, which is far paler than it should be. His lips are cracked, eyes bulging. Thor is afraid to touch him but he does. Loki is cold to the touch, waxen.

"What's happening to me?" he asks.

"I don't know," Thor says. "This can't be right. This can't—hold on."

Thor calls for a healer. Her expression falters when she looks at Loki, but she hardens it again quickly. It does nothing to make Thor feel any better. She takes Loki's vitals and nods for Thor to join her by the door. She grabs his wrist, hard.

"Your majesty," she says. "How did Loki return to us?"

She looks terrified now. Loki is still on the bed, and Thor can see how heavily he's breathing. He looks exhausted.

"Hela…she released him. Resurrected him." Thor pulls his wrist free. "Why? What's happening?"

"He's dying," the healer says. "His pulse and heartbeat are strong, but, the prince's body has begun to decay."

Thor says nothing. He can't speak. He hears the word _dying_ and his heart just drops.

"He can't," Thor says, barely a whisper.

In the silence, Loki takes a long, rattling breath. Sounds like the air shakes every rib in his body. He looks almost as he did the moment Thanos killed him. As if the resurrection didn't work at all. _Hela._ That hateful witch. She did something. Didn't resurrect him properly. Thor's anger hits him so hard that lightning builds from his fingers and scatters up around his shoulders and neck.

" _Thor_ ," Loki says, and he comes back to himself.

"Loki."

Thor goes to him, holds Loki's arms gently, afraid Loki will break into dust if he's not careful. He looks somehow worse already than when they woke up. Paler. Colder. The whites of his eyes are mapped with hundreds of red blood vessels ready to explode.

"I have to visit our sister. I have to fix this," Thor says.

" _No_." Loki grabs at Thor's tunic with panicked motions, and even that takes too much energy. "You can't leave me."

"Please," Thor says. "Loki, please. Let me fix this. Brother, I beg you."

He kisses the top of Loki's head. Loki still doesn't let go.

"Loki," Thor says, and it's painful to. "Let go."

"I'll die. I'll die and you won't be here."

"That's not going to happen. I swear it."

Thor takes a step back, Loki so weak he can't even stop it. He just falls forward, gasping. Thor motions for the healer. She moves without question, though her face is still fearful.  

"I'll be back shortly," Thor says. "Watch over him."

"No," Loki says. "No."

Thor steps out onto the balcony and readies Stormbreaker. He makes the mistake of looking at Loki. Sees that he's afraid.

"Thor," Loki says. "Don't—"

The sky cracks.

\--

He slams Stormbreaker into the gate.

"Hela!"

Thor hadn't walked into Hel, this time, he'd run. The gate shakes with the force of each blow, and with each blow Thor says Hela's name louder and louder. He's starting to believe he might just crack the gate when she materializes up from the shadows, a smokescreen of black and green. She looks annoyed. She has the utter audacity to look confused, of all things.

"What are you _doing_?" she hisses.

"Fix it!" Thor says. "Whatever you've done to Loki, fix it. Now."

Hela's expression twists a bit behind the gate.

"What do you mean?"

Thor slams the gate again so hard Hela actually startles. Thor knows he's got lightning in his eyes, knows because he can barely see anything but white light.

"He's dying! Your resurrection didn't work. Fix it!"

"Oh." Hela sighs, hands planted square on her hips. "I really thought it might work this time."

Thor grabs one of the black bars of the gate. It doesn't feel hot or cold. It feels like nothing.

"You mean you resurrected him knowing it might not work?"

"I'm the Goddess of Death, not Life," Hela says. "Resurrection isn't my job. I'm sorry, but I can't help you."

That's not good enough. And Thor doesn't believe her, at any rate. She did it once, that means she can do it again. She can do it right. But the more time he spends here, the less time Loki has. And it seems they've drawn a crowd. Creatures of every race are standing in the background, watching. That has Thor feeling all the more desperate.

"Loki will just be sent back down here, to annoy you," he says. "So you had better think of a solution."

"Oh," Hela says. "No, I think not. You escape Hel only once. After that it's just…limbo."

"What?"

"An eternity of aimless wander in a nowhere land. Don't you know anything about the afterlife? He'll be nowhere at all."

Nowhere. Thor tightens his grip on his axe. Limbo is not a place he could reach, not even with Stormbreaker. If he loses Loki now he'll never see him again, not even in death.

"You're lying," Thor says. His voice is a tremor.

Hela looks right at him. "Am I?"

Thor hesitates for a moment, and even that feels like too long. He can't risk being here another second. He calls for home.

Loki is still alive.

Thor goes to him without saying anything, and he doesn't have to. His look probably says it all. Thor sits on the bed and pulls Loki to him, holds him. He dismisses the healer and for long moment it is just the two of them and Loki's broken breathing. Loki doesn't return the hug. Thor isn't entirely sure that he can, and he has no idea what to do. He breathes in the lingering smell of Hel that's followed him back to Norway. Then Thor realizes.

The smell is coming from Loki. He smells like decay.

"I'm dying," Loki says, voice muffled in Thor's shirt.

"You're _not._ "

Loki pulls back, his face a pale mess of bluish veins, exhausted.

"What did she say? Our sister?"

"She said…" Thor can't look him in the eyes. He holds Loki's bony hand in his own, traces the knuckles. "She said she's the Goddess of Death, not Life."

Loki laughs shortly, but it breaks quickly into coughing. Thor pulls him closer. He wishes, desperately, and not for the first time, that Odin was there. He would give some advice. Anything. All Thor can do is whisper apologies into Loki's hairline and wrack his brain for some type of solution. He considers Bruce or Tony, but he's not sure how willing they'd be to help, and he's not sure Loki even has _time._

"Wait," Loki says.

He looks up, chin still tucked against Thor's chest.

"Hela isn't the Goddess of Life. But there are a great many of them at the base of Yggdrasil."

Thor grips Loki's arms. "You mean—"

"Yes, brother. I do."

When Thor tries to stand, Loki bites him, right on the hand. It's not the hardest bite he's ever given Thor, but it's enough that Thor hisses and falters.

" _Loki._ What—"

"You're not leaving me again." Loki wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "I'm going with you."

"But you're…" Thor isn't sure how to finish the sentence. Loki knows what he is. He's weak. He's _dying._

"If you're going to beg for my life, I want to see it," Loki says.

He stands and immediately collapses. Thor catches him before he hits the floor. He helps Loki upright, though by this point Loki is mostly leaning against him. Thor doesn't think he can stand on his own anymore.

"I'm going with you," Loki says.

It's not a question, and Thor does think it's kind of funny, that Loki is ordering him around like this when he can't even stand up. Thor sighs, nods. The truth is, he isn't sure how much time Loki has left. Thor wants to be there during his last moments, if they come. Thor wants as much time with him as possible. He isn't going to leave Loki alone again, not now.

"All right," he says. "Hold on."

He sets Loki on the bed again, and Loki flops back, manages to props himself up on elbow. Thor tosses clothes and the chair around to find the stupid phone Tony insists he use—he's finally charged it since Tony last visited. Thor looks up Tony's number from his contacts and presses _CALL._ He waits. Tony picks up on the third ring.

" _honestly never thought you'd_ —"

"There's no time," Thor says. "I have to travel to Yggdrasil, and I may not be back in time for the meeting with earth's leaders."

" _Wait. Yggdra—who? Thor, what the hell is—"_

"Loki is dying. I don't have time to explain, but please. If I'm not there, do not speak in my absence."

" _Thor, we can't just put off—_ "

"He's dying!" Thor says. "He's all I have and he's dying."

There's silence on the line. Thor hears Tony breathing, maybe hydraulics in the background.

"Stark—"

" _Okay, big guy. Do you what you have to do. We'll wait._ " 

Thor exhales. "Thank you."

He tosses the phone down without looking. Thor picks Loki up with one arm and grabs Stormbreaker from the floor. He takes them both outside. He feels Loki's arms loop around his neck. They're cold.  

"Are you all right?"

"I'm not dead yet," Loki says. "But hurry, brother."

Thor stretches Stormbreaker to the sky. He's never attempted to travel to Yggdrasil with his axe before. He's not entirely sure it's possible. Thor swallows, watches the stretch of Asgardia before him, green and rolling into the sea. There's rain coming soon, Thor can see it already falling in the distance, a warning.

"Loki," Thor says. "I do not know the way—"

Loki's arm curls up around Thor's where it's stretched to the sky. He grabs hold of Thor's wrist as best he can.

"I do," Loki says. "Call for it."

Thor hesitates.

"Trust me," Loki says.

Thor sizzles with lightning. Stormbreaker trembles and the sky opens. When Thor looks up, he sees static green around his and Loki's arms, Loki's own seidr, and he knows the way without being told. His axe knows the way. A thin line of blood inks down the corner of Loki's mouth and Thor means to scream for him to stop through the howl of it all, but by that point the sky has already swallowed them.

They are gone.

\--

He doesn't know if they've made it or not. There is the softest light all around them, softer than Thor has ever known, grass beneath his feet. But it's difficult to see anything beyond that, and there's no written record of what the base of Yggdrasil looks like. There are only stories. Thor has no idea if they're in the right place or not.

"Loki—"

Loki is limp in his arms. A trickle of blood still fresh at his mouth. Thor's panic reignites.

"Loki!"

Thor lays him onto the grass and checks for a pulse. It's still there—faint, but there. Thor jostles his shoulders lightly.

"Wake up, Loki. Come on."

Loki doesn't stir. Thor knows he won't survive another trip with Stormbreaker. But if they've made it to Yggdrasil, their best option is finding the Norns. Thor checks Loki's pulse again. Still the same.

"Brother, if you die here I swear I'll kill you."

"Relax, Son of Odin. No one dies here."

Thor jumps upright and grabs his axe. The voice sounded like it came from above, behind, below, all over. A woman's voice. Thor looks but sees no one.

"Whoever you are," Thor says, "show yourself."

And she does. She is there just as suddenly as she was not—a giantess, pale and beautiful and draped in silk the color of lilac. Her hair tumbles in thick, dark curls. She's so beautiful Thor is afraid to look at her, and he knows all at once that she is a Norn. He lets Stormbreaker fall into the grass and drops to his knees.

"You're—"

"It's been some five-thousand years since we've had a visitor," she says.

"My brother," Thor says, remembering himself. "I've come—"

"I know why you are here."

She reaches down and picks Loki up gently. He looks like a child in her palms. Thor wants to protest but knows how ridiculous that would be. He just stands there and curls his hands into fists, waiting for some sort of direction. The Norn looks down at Loki as if she's his mother. She has a strange empathy in her eyes even though Thor knows she and her sisters hold the fates of everyone between their fingers.

"He may rest now," she says. "And you as well."

Thor starts. "We don't have time to rest."

"There is no time here," the Norn says.

Thor has no retort to that. If there is no time here, if Loki will not die here, then Thor is content to linger here a little longer. He just wishes that Loki would wake up.

"Very well," Thor says. "But I'm not letting him out of my sight."

The Norn laughs, and it shakes the ground and sends a tremor to Thor's _teeth._

"I do not intend to steal him from you, Thor Odinson. Come, we will sit by the well, and you will meet my sisters."

She walks without waiting for his answer. She takes one stride and is already too many steps ahead of him. Thor sprints to keep up. They don't walk very far before they come to a stone terrace nearly overrun with roots. And from the roots Thor can see the trunk of Yggdrasil, so wide there's no telling where it ends. Thor is sure the bark is older than anything he'll ever know in his life. He can hear the sound of water below. And there are two more Norns sitting on the ledge of the terrace, also draped in silk. There are threads in each of their hands.

"My sisters, Verdandi and Skuld," the Norn says. "And I am Urd."

The women don't look at him, but Thor nods and waves nonetheless. He's still in awe of the trunk of Yggdrasil, strains his neck trying to look up. Urd sits on the terrace wall and folds her legs. She sets Loki carefully on the ground beside her. Thor considers running to him.

"None have ever dared come here," Urd says. "Few have known the way."

"Well, Loki has a habit of knowing things people wished he didn't," Thor says.

"And none have ever so boldly come here and demanded we rekindle a life already lost."

"I'm not demanding." Thor pauses, licks his lips. "I'm here to beg you."

He goes to his knees again, figures it can't hurt. Urd considers him for a long moment. Thor hears the water in the silence, the life source of Yggdrasil.

"You beg for the life of Loki, Son of Laufey?"

"I do," Thor says.

She doesn't answer him for a long time, and Thor has to will himself to be patient, has to remind himself that there is no time here. The Norn cocks her head and she reminds Thor of a sun changing position in the sky too quickly. Loki remains silent and still on the grass. Thor can see the steady rise and fall of his chest, feels desperation grow in him again. Odin had described Loki as desperate, once. Desperately seeking what was already in front of him. Thor hadn't understood the feeling. He does now. He hates it.

"Look," Urd says.

She has thread in her hand suddenly, delicate as spider's webbing. It trails beside her and runs behind the stone wall, disappears by her sisters.

"This is your thread," she says. "It's a strong thread. I've enjoyed weaving it."

Thor watches the thread loop between her fingers, infinite, colorless, and yet every color Thor knows and some he cannot even name.

"It never strayed far from your brother's, even when he strayed from you."

A few hundred years ago, even ten years ago, Thor might have had some interest in his own thread. He doesn't care at all now.

"I didn't come here seeking wisdom about my own life," he says. "I'm here for Loki. For his life."

Urd shuts her hands. Thor's thread disappears. When she opens them again, there is a new thread, tangled, a bit frayed, but long as it were. She holds up one end to Thor.

"Such a thing is not possible," she says. "His life is already gone. His thread was cut years ago."

Thor's heart drops. He wants to call Urd a liar but he stops himself. He stares at Loki's thread, the end of it, cut so neatly, which is laughable, considering how violently his life was taken from him. If Urd is still speaking, Thor can't hear her over the roar in his ears. Something feels so spectacularly clear to him then, it's like he should have known it all along. But he knows it now, and it is because he is meant to know it. The answer has been right here in front of them. It's him.

"Then tie his thread to mine," Thor says.

Urd blinks. Bows her head slowly.

"What?"

"Tie Loki's thread to my own."

Urd leans back and crosses her arms. "You would bind his thread to yours?"

Loki is curled up so delicately next to her feet, as if he's sleeping. He used to read to Thor in the library when they were younger men, would translate ancient texts in dead language that held information about the Norns. Tales of resurrection. The joining of two threads. Thor doesn't allow himself to doubt for a moment that such a thing isn't possible. He's been alive for too long to believe in something as ridiculous as impossibility.

"Yes," he says.

"You do realize what that means. He will die with you. And your life will be bound to his. Your threads forever interwoven as one."

Thor stands. "I know what it means. That's why I said it. Will you do it?"

Urd smiles. It is terrifying to see all her teeth, large as she is, and Thor isn't sure yet if she is going to help them or not. She wraps Loki's cut thread around her arm and stands.

"Go to him," she says, motioning to Loki. "You do not have much time left here."

Thor cradles Loki's head in his lap. The blood at his mouth has dried and flaked. He looks no worse than before, which Thor supposes is a good thing, considering. Thor wipes the blood away from his mouth. He looks up at Urd.

"You haven't answered me," he says.

"I have." Urd makes a pulling motion and Stormbreaker comes to Thor's side. "I enjoyed speaking with you, Thor, but do not venture here again."

The light around them brightens. Thor feels himself being pulled somewhere.

"Wait," he says. "Wait—!"

He comes to in Norway. He's flat on his back on the balcony outside his bedroom, right where he and Loki had left from. Thor snaps upright and Loki is next to him in the same position. Only he doesn't look like he's on the brink of death anymore. His skin is pale like it should be, no green veins, no stench of decay. Thor shakes his shoulders and Loki startles, eyes moving too fast to take everything in. Thor pulls him into a seated position and hugs him without a word.

"What," Loki says.

"Wait," Loki says.

"It worked," Thor says.

Loki shoves back and looks at his hands, touches his face. He scrambles to his feet and skids inside to look in the mirror. Thor follows, unable to keep the smile from his face, and watches as Loki realizes that he is alive.

"Oh," he says, nearly breathless. He looks at Thor. "Do you mean to tell me I was unconscious the entire time we were on Yggdrasil?"

Thor laughs and kisses him. So Urd truly did bind Loki's thread to his, then. Loki runs his hands up Thor's arms and squeezes his shoulders, holds his face in his hands.

"A shame that I missed the sight of my beloved brother on his knees, begging for my life."

"You missed nothing," Thor says. "They took one look at your pathetic body and granted my request easily."

The lie rolls off his tongue too easily. He doesn't want Loki to know what he had to do. He isn't about to put that on him. Eventually, Thor tells himself, he'll tell Loki what happened on Yggdrasil.

Loki suspects nothing. He just grins.

"Liar," he says. "Show me how you begged."

Thor smiles and does just that.

\--

He calls Tony after he bathes the next morning. The phone feels comically small in his hands—Thor doesn't understand how humans use them. He sits on the bed in a towel and Loki lounges behind him, naked and alive, his bare feet resting flat against Thor's back. Tony picks up on the first ring.

" _Thor. Are you okay? Is…your brother okay_?"

"Loki is well," Thor says. "I'll be there, today."

" _That's good_ ," Tony says. " _That's great. You know it's in Washington. At noon._ "

"I know."

" _D.C. Not the state._ "

"I'm aware of the confusing nature of your country."

" _…Thank you. We'll see you in a bit._ "

Thor hangs up and lets the phone slide onto the rug. He turns just enough to see Loki watching him with a skeptical expression. Thor grabs his ankle and kisses the sole of his foot before standing to get dressed.

"What will you do while I'm gone?" he asks.

Loki rolls over on the bed and watches him dress, hair a damp mess. Thor is itching to tie it up.

"Wait on baited breath for your return," he says.

Thor snorts and pulls a shirt on. Loki eventually puts on pants, but his skeptical expression doesn't waver. He looks like he's seconds away from suggesting Thor do something incredibly shortsighted with him, like just abandon Midgard and their people completely. Thor finishes dressing and grabs a hair tie from the nightstand. Walks over to Loki and pulls his brother's hair back while facing him. Loki's expression softens just the slightest bit. It always has, for Thor.

"You trust me, don't you?" Thor asks.

Loki sighs heavily, and, Thor thinks, a bit dramatically.

"Against all my better instincts."

Thor grins crooked and kisses Loki's temple.

"Then trust me, brother, your time on earth is not up."

\--

He forgets about the time difference and ends up in D.C. about an hour and a half too early. And there's no hiding his entrance, so Thor decides he might as well enter the building. Natasha, Tony, and Strange are there to meet him at the doors.

"Ah, Strange," Thor says. "Loki sends his regards."

Strange lifts a brow. "Does he?"

Thor smiles. "Not at all. Shall we?"

"Boys," Natasha says, holding one door open, "let's all play nice."

Strange looks half amused, regardless. Thor steps inside. He's never been in the United World Summit building before, never had reason. It reminds him of most other buildings on earth—flatly angled and too vertical. They're greeted by security immediately. Thor is asked to give up Stormbreaker, which he agrees to, though it's a laughable request. No one but him can even lift it, and the axe will come right to his hand when he calls. But Thor humors them and sets the axe down.

"We're not scheduled to brief for another half hour," Tony says. "We'll go in there, do our thing, and then you can have your time. Sound good?"

"I see no issue with that," Thor says.

All four of them step into the elevator. Once the doors close, Tony lowers his voice a bit.

"You know what you're doing, right? Natasha and I ready to back you up, I think the wizard might even help, but tell me you know what you're doing."

Thor folds his hands in front of him and nods. The elevator dings. The doors open.

"I know what I'm doing," Thor says.

He's given coffee by a very nice intern and sits on a metal bench while Natasha and Tony and Strange go in. Thor can see out the window from where he's sitting, an aerial view of D.C. and all the people and traffic below, so unbelievably small. He wonders what Loki is doing. Probably entertaining himself by practicing spells, or talking to their people.

About forty-five minutes pass before the doors of the meeting room open again. Natasha and Tony come out first, tell him they'll be waiting just down the hall if things go really south. Strange comes out just behind them. He pauses a moment and then turns on his heels to face Thor.

"For what it's worth," he says. "I hope it goes well. You can tell your brother I said that."

"It's worth a great deal," Thor says. "Thank you."

Thor tosses his coffee cup in the trashcan next to him and stands. That's when Fury pops his head out the door.

"Thor," he says. "Stark said you were here. Wasn't expecting you. Not that I'm not pleased to see you."

"I need to speak with earth's leaders," Thor says. "About my brother."

Fury's lips pucker and he shuts the meeting room doors entirely. "You mean your dead brother?"

Thor cocks his head. "Well, he may no longer be dead."

"Mother—" Fury rubs a hand over his mouth and exhales. "Are you serious?"

Thor just looks at him.

"This alien god shit is too much for me," Fury says. "I'll have to prep the representatives before you can come in, understood? Give me three minutes."

Thor nods.

He's called in after two. Everyone is in a panic, talking over each other, so typically human. They settle a bit when Thor enters the room. Fury motions for him to stand behind the podium so he can explain himself. And Thor does, in a way. He takes a note from Loki's book and strategically leaves out the fact that the first resurrection was a total bust, but he does admit to bringing Loki back by his own design. As he's speaking, he feels the strangest tickle at the base of his skull, a flash of Asgardia, then blinks himself back into the meeting room.

A woman from England speaks up. Her nameplate reads Browning.

"I understand Asgardia is separate from earth, technically speaking, but you've put earth at risk by bringing a known enemy back here," she says. "So please explain why you would resurrect Loki?"

Thor smiles broadly at her. "It would take more years than you have to explain," he says. "But very simply put: because he is my brother, and I love him, and he is all I have left. By Asgardian justice, he's more than paid for his crimes."

That last part is another lie, partially. Loki would be so proud. Though technically, Thor is in charge of the justice system now. And he has forgiven Loki.

"Also," Thor says. "The Norns have tied his life to mine."

"I'm sorry," another representative says. "The Norns? We're talking about mythology here."

"Everything you haven't seen with your own eyes could be mythology," Thor says.

Fury extends his hand outward. "Hold on. You say that Loki's life is tied to yours."

"I mean that in a literal sense. If I die, so does he. Vice versa. He feels some of what I feel. My people were granted land here on earth, and we are grateful, but you like having _me_ here to protect earth. And I like being here. My people like being here. But if my brother can't stay, well, that's an issue."

Fury presses his fingers to his temples and asks how, as if it's painful to.

"If Loki were sent off to some distant realm and met his death, I'd also meet mine," Thor says. "But here, I can keep an eye on him. I ask that you consider letting him stay. Because I can guarantee that him leaving would not be met kindly by me or my people."

Fury leans back in his seat and looks both impressed and annoyed at the exact same time. There's silence for a full five seconds before everyone starts talking over each other again. There's a full minute of this before Thor is finally asked to step out so the representatives can deliberate.

So he's back on the bench. The very nice intern brings more coffee. Thor sits for an hour before Fury finally steps out again. He falls into a perfect soldier's pose, boots pushed together, and stares out at nothing. Thor waits.

"You Asgardians sure know how to cause a stir," Fury says after a minute of silence

"I've been told that before," Thor says. "So?"

Fury makes a sweeping motion with his hand and Thor scoots down on the bench to make room for him. Fury sits.

"You've made a pretty airtight case for why Loki should be close to you." Fury turns so he's staring Thor down with his good eye. "Conditionally, he is not to leave Asgardia. This is a trial basis. Whether he goes with you to…space is your business. Not my jurisdiction. In six months' time we can reevaluate how he's done."

Thor knew, in every fiber and muscle and blood and part of him, he knew they'd agree. Humans are wonderful creatures, but predictable in many ways. It still makes his heart beat incredibly fast to hear Fury's words. To have it cemented. Loki can stay. Thor stands, seeing as it's impossible for him to sit any longer, and tosses his coffee blindly into the trash so he can shake Fury's hand. Fury stands slowly and extends a hand out. Thor suspects Fury likes him a lot more now that Thor also only has one eye, even if he's been given an artificial one.

"Did you really visit the Norns?" Fury asks. "Do what you said?"

"I did," Thor says.

"And your brother agreed to that?"

"…In a manner of speaking."

He lets go of Fury's hand and starts down the hallway.

"Do not call for that axe of yours through my building!" Fury calls.

Thor waves him off. He's surprised to find Natasha, Tony, and Strange waiting for him outside. They're polishing off a late lunch, something greasy wrapped in tinfoil. Tony holds one out for Thor.

"It's a burrito," he says.

"Sure," says Thor, and takes it.

"So I'm guessing by the look on your face that Loki's allowed to stay on earth," Strange says.

Thor nods around the tortilla. They start walking away from the building, past the neatly trimmed hedges and water feature that's slowly rusting. Thor watches all three of them, carefully, and thinks of so many years ago when Loki tried to kill them, when he tried to kill _him._

"So," Tony says, "Now when we come to visit, we'll be hanging out with you and Loki?"

"Yes," Thor says. "…If you desire to visit."

"We do," Natasha says.

Thor smiles. They walk with them to the edge of the building property, until Thor finishes his burrito. Then he crumples the foil wrapper, tosses it back to Tony, and heads for Loki. For home.

\--

He's trying to get in the habit of using the main gate, but Thor is too damn excited to wait any longer than he has to. He lands on the balcony outside Loki's room and knocks on the doors. Loki opens both of them immediately. Thor is delighted to see that his hair is still pulled back. He lets Stormbreaker fall to the floor of the balcony and steps inside, grinning far too wide, forcing Loki to take steps backward.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Loki asks.

"Because," Thor says, and grabs his arms, "you're staying."

Loki's eyes widen for the briefest of moments. Then they narrow.

"What did you agree to?"

"Well. Technically, you can't leave Asgardia for the next sixth months. Maybe indefinitely." Thor scratches the back of his neck and shrugs. "Though I doubt you'd let a thing like that stop you."

"Oh no," Loki says. "I'm very reformed now."

He pulls his hair loose and shakes it out, watches Thor with a mix of admiration and skepticism, which isn't quite unlike how he usually watches him. The room is darker around them already, evening fading into night, a breeze slipping through the open doors and cooling their skin.

"Is that really all?" Loki asks. "They just agreed to let me stay that easily?"

"I told you," Thor says. "Trust Thor and everything will work out."

He calls Stormbreaker in from the balcony so he can shut the doors. The axe hits firmly into his palm as Thor closes the doors. When he turns back, Loki is standing there looking like he was struck, eyes wide. Thor's mouth goes dry.

"What's wrong?"

"…I felt that," Loki says.

"What are you talking about?"

Loki lifts his right hand, the same hand Thor holds Stormbreaker in. "I felt your axe in my hand. Why did I feel your axe in my hand?"

Thor doesn't get a chance to speak. Loki is on him in a fury. Thor drops Stormbreaker when Loki points an accusing finger at him, holds Loki's wrist steady so he doesn't poke his good eye out.

"Thor. What did you do on Yggdrasil?"

Thor pulls his bottom lip behind his teeth. So he'd felt Loki's seidr in D.C., then. Loki must have felt it when Thor traveled with Stormbreaker earlier and thought something strange was happening to him. He exhales. He hadn't known it would be like this. Truthfully, he had no idea what it would be like at all. 

"Your thread was already cut. A sole resurrection wasn't possible."

Loki's voice comes out low and dangerous: "Then how am I here?"

"I had them tie your thread to mine," Thor says. "It was the only way. Our threads are bound now, brother."

Loki's breathing picks up, heavy, almost panicked. He looks stricken.

"You… _imbecile_ ," Loki says. "If I die again, that means you'll—"

"I know."

"And if you die, that means I'll—"

"I know."

Loki's jaw clicks shut.

"You didn't," he says. "You couldn't have…"

"I did," says Thor. "I wanted to."

The sob Loki lets out is unexpected, for both of them. Loki turns from Thor quickly, embarrassed, but Thor is too overwhelmed by everything that's happened over the last twenty-four hours to let him out of his sight right now. He pulls Loki into his arms and holds him. And Loki lets himself be held. He hides his face in Thor's shoulder, hands curled to fists against Thor's shirt. 

"You fool," Loki says into his shirt. "You stupid fool."

"I know," Thor says.

"I couldn't leave you now, even if I wanted to."

Thor presses his fingers gently against Loki's ribs. "Do you want to?"

"You fool," Loki says again.

They stay like that for a long time. They stand there, Loki's face buried in Thor's shoulder, Thor with his arms around him. Eventually, they take off their boots and get wordlessly into bed, just lay there with each other, staring. If the world crumbled at that very moment, Thor would have no clue. He dozes off at one point. Sleeps dreamless. Wakes up to Loki still staring at him, the room in darkness except for a single light. Thor smiles, tentative.

"Come here," Loki says, and kisses him.

Thor is inside him a short time later, and it's more intense than he remembers. He feels _everything,_ and Loki must too because he's uncharacteristically quiet and trembling hard. Thor isn't even aware that he's crying until his tears drip onto Loki's clavicle, and then Loki is kissing him and kissing him, his own eyes red-rimmed and brimming. 

"Next time you go," Thor says. "It will be with me. Together."

Loki winds his arms around Thor's neck and pulls him closer. Like he might get the entirety of Thor inside of him. So Thor bites the delicate skin where Loki's neck meets his shoulder and listens to the shuddering gasp he lets out, imagines his mouth dropping open and their threads weaving tighter and tighter. Their bodies these delicate, hard things that can only be broken if they are broken together.

They stay that way until morning.

Until eternity.

 

**Author's Note:**

> marvel: loki is dead  
> me: lol
> 
> \-- when Thor and Loki are the in the gardens and Thor touches a primrose, in the Language of the Flowers that means "I Can't Live Without You." Likewise, the arbutus Loki plucks means "Thee Only Do I Love." I added flower language because I am That Lesbian 
> 
> \-- thank you, thank you, thank you to [Ark](http://et-in-arkadia.tumblr.com/) and [Anu](https://twitter.com/pussyinduIgence) for beta and the constant encouragement/badgering so that I actually finished this damn thing. zero thanks to marvel for breaking my heart
> 
> twitter @stereoroo and tumblr @stereobone 
> 
> thank you all for reading ♥


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